Sometimes I don't sleep
by Kismet's Kiss
Summary: [She hadn’t care to notice, who would?] [Even if it killed me in the end.] [When someone you’ve loved for all your life, dies, in your arms, nothing else in the world matters.] [Why die if you have someone to live for?]GaaSakuSasu R&R [M]chapters later
1. Sometimes I dont sleep

**Hey all! Well as I couldn't sleep last night I realized how'd perfect I would be to be Gaara's 'special person' and then I thought! Damn I sure do read enough Gaara and Sakura fics, why not just write one already? So here it is finally a fic containing the pair.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the cute panda or it's cute cherry blossom tee-hee**

**Review please for I love those ever so much, Plus this is probably a one shot, but I might make a beginning, middle, end type out of it if reviewers persist me to, cause apparently I have 'wicked styling' when it comes from flashbacks and incorporating scene transitions hehe.**

** XxXxXxXxXxX**

Sometimes I don't sleep…

I lay awake after the tedious day of everlasting work from the medical environment, that which can only come from Konoha's hospital, the random mini assignments assigned to Team Kakashi, which included Naruto, Kakashi, Sai and myself. And last but not least the sad feeling that looms about my household as I crawl back home and say 'I'm home' to myself knowing no one will answer.

The nights are cold now, and it's been a good 5 years since he's left…a picture still hangs on the inside of my closet door. I sometimes hate the fact that I don't have the will to throw it out, I managed to throw away…(okay not _throw_ away more so cover up and place it deep within the mess of my room so as to not find so easily again) the other objects that emitted the pained memories I get from looking at them.

But not this one picture…why? I constantly ask myself.

**Because you're a hopeless fool.**

Oh yeah, that's why.

Thanks Inner voice once again you've solved a thousand years of mystery with one simple explanation.

**Sarcastic bit-**

Okay that's enough of that.

"…it's windy today." I look out towards the window after hearing the tapping of a tree against the pane periodically and after the declaration of my ninja skills at confirming the breezy night, I note to myself 'I'm _good_.' A pathetic grin on my face falters.

Sigh. I'm pathetic.

Sometimes I just don't goddamn sleep, and for the life me I really don't know why.

I get up to walk around the darken room, the moon being the only thing that provides light and guidance for my little 'adventure'. I close my eyes and stand in the middle of my room, just for a brief moment recalling a funny all too familiar scene today.

"_Kakashi! That's no fair!! It hurts-it hurts it-hurts!"_

"_Naruto…" exasperated the pink haired kunoichi turned Tsunade's apprentice drawled out. "You're annoy-Um…" She paused and chose her words carefully. " You're pissing me off!" She clunked his head and stalked off to sit under a tree._

_Kakashi grinned and held his hands up in defense. "Well this time I didn't hurt you."_

"_It's not called a 'thousand years of pain' for nothing Kakashi!" Sai just merely laughed as he looked over to Sakura questioning, she merely smiled slightly in response and faked a cooling off technique with her hand by fanning herself as an excuse for breaking into the shade, away from the group._

_Naruto had clutched his fist and threatened to pound Kakashi in and Kakashi merely laughed and patted Naruto on the head saying he'd treat him to ramen if he blocked the next attack. "Yes Oh boy Oh boy! It better be anytype of ramen, I'm feeling spicy today!"_

_At this the other three ninja just stared at his obliviously 'begging to make fun of' statement. "So…should I take this one or?" Sai questioned Kakashi and Sakura._

"_Be my guess."_

"_Like I care"_

"_Yeah Naruto I'm sure you're feeling mighty spicy today, you going to put on a little dance for us?"_

"_huh?" Kakashi and Sakura chuckled slightly, not one of Sai's best but it sufficed. Sakura decided she was accustomed to this, and she liked it. She also was, however very accustomed to her new friend, now Kazekage of the Sand village, Gaara, sneaking up on her during training or hospital hours as well._

"_You call this training?" his drawl, lapsed voice came from above the hidden leaves of the tree. Sakura didn't bother looking up as her eyes were still fixated on the scene in front of , Kakashi now disappearing telling Naruto to find him, Sai sighing mouthing to Sakura 'help' and Naruto running off like the goofball he is. _

"_Yup. I'm definitely honing my skills from this here spot. Care to join me Panda-chan?" He growled at the response and she merely giggled. When her eyes reopened, mainly due to a soft growl now, she came face to face with a smiling Naruto. Uh-oh Gaara is being protective again._

"_Where's Kakashi? Who were you talking to huh Sakura-chan huh?"_

"_Naru-"_

"_Ah-ha!" Looking up and throwing a kunai into the tree Naruto watched as it fell back down wordlessly with a trail of broken sand following after. "huh…?"_

"_Oh…um well you see Ga-"_

"_Naruto Uzamaki."_

"_Gaara!" Naruto jumped around happily as his friend appeared before Sakura and Naruto with a swirl of sand. He grunted a response of returned acknowledgement. "What'cha doing here? Came to pay me a visit?"_

"_no." Naruto's face deflated and before Gaara could say more Sakura cut in. " Naruto aren't you suppose to be looking for Kakashi? You want that ramen right-" At this Naruto bobbed his head up and down furiously "Well he's probably asleep by now from waiting or reading a Make out Paradise book that he won't notice you if you act quickly... and spot him out fast" Sakura ending words fell on deaf ears as the blonde hair, blue eyed boy with that glorious smile of his ran off._

"_Let's go home" His gruff voice rang out. She nodded and did not protest as Gaara wrapped his sand around the both of them taking them to their destination._

Sometimes I don't sleep…but.

I open my door cautiously and peek out- "Go to sleep." I pouted and cracked the door open wider to present my full frame to the dark rimmed eyes. " I can't."

"I've rubbed off on you."

"Pfft. Please." Slowly and mellifluously I sat down next to him, my back against the wall, my head on his shoulders as he instantaneously wrapped his arm around my shoulder. It was still somewhat detached, I mean come on, he might be _my_ panda-chan, but he's always going to be Gaara. And I'm okay with that.

Maybe it's my history with detached people that allows me to be...

"What's wrong?" his question surprises me, for every other night, bar the first night this routine started, he never questioned why I was up. "Nothing." He nudges me slightly, and his breathing is calming, I breathe in slowly, making sure to intake all that is Gaara. His scent becomes all the more wondrous at night when he as least allows his guard down, even by a small measurement, around _me._

**Maybe that just means he thinks you don't pose a threat.**

Shut up.

"Sakura." I sit up and look at his stare and sigh. " I don't know."

"Hn." the infamous 'Hn'…bastards.

"Hey! You don't sleep either, and Shukaku is gone…" I pause because the memory of the whole ordeal was too painful to relive.

He shifted slightly and cupped his hand underneath my chin to rise my line of vision slightly, meeting his gaze, I could tell he knew instantly what I was feeling. He then gave me a butterfly kiss, it was chaste, like Gaara normally would be with these affiliated affections. With him it was either, basically nothing, or over the top extreme…

Sometimes I like the extreme part of him, if you know what I mean. hehe…

"You were crying."

"Huh? No…I don't think so." self consciously I bring a hand to my cheek to check for anything moist. " Not today." I give him a quizzical look and he continues. " When I opened my eyes you were the first one I saw. Crying,"

Oh. That's what he was talking about. "Was it…for me?"

Sometimes I don't sleep….but

"For both. For Chiyo and for you. I was so terribly sad that she had…passed away, but." I looked at him tears surfacing the edges of my eyes, he quickly took hold of me, detached? I wasn't sure now, and gently rocked me a little. " but…I was happy, that you were alright Gaara…" for added effect I smirked and pulled back, pointing a finger into his chest. " Besides who else is going to fit my panda-chan role as perfectly as you do!" He growled and lunged at me, but I was too quick as I sprawled across the floor, shifting away.

"Haha nice catch Panda-Oaf!" He had tackled me, damn him and his tackles that first have me immobilized by his sand without my realization and then pinned down immediately after.

"Ow…" He grins and looks down on me, His hair brushed across my eyelashes as his nose is touched with mine, his possessive low growl heard just above a whisper, that whisper of 'Gaara' I uncontrollably let loose.

Sometimes I don't sleep…but I can get kinda use to this.

After all…

"Sleep. Now." It's a command I know more to keep his sanity than for my well being, but comply either way as he shuffled off of me, avoiding my distant gaze towards him. I gently walk back to my room and while leaving the door open slightly ajar, plop down on my bed for no real purpose as I know I'm not going to succumb to sleep anytime soon.

Gaara pops in every now and then to visit Naruto and I whenever he's bored being Kazekage, residing in my home for a night or two. Of course Naruto doesn't know this…heh. I think back to Gaara just now, and his intense stare burning into my own, I know why he didn't take the kiss, and I don't blame him. He wants me to himself, and only to him. And even though there's no physical form here in Konoha who threatens that want, The Uchiha still stands in his way.

After all, He and I both know I'm not over him yet.

I sigh once more and look at the picture now at my bedside table, Its of Gaara and I, Naruto is trying to get in the picture, I chuckle at this, for Gaara's sand is keeping him away from being fully in the picture, the focus on just him and I, me smiling like a bumbling idiot, him scowling at the flash to come and Naruto's incessant whining, but if you look closer. You can tell he's happy. His eyes always give it away.

"My little panda-chan…" A growl is heard from just before the door, abnormally loud so as, I'm guessing, to make sure I heard him. I laugh softly.

After all, I know he's always going to be there awake, just like me.

So even though Sometimes I don't sleep…It's not necessarily a bad thing but more so a blessing in disguise. It's a reason to cuddle up to him, and place my head on his shoulders, a reason to allow him to hold me comfortingly, or just _hold_ me. It's another chance for him to kiss me, and another reminder that I'm still not ready. But most of all It's another reminder that he's always going to be there, waiting till I'm ready, and until then, for those times when I don't sleep, be a pillow and a blanket allowing me the peace of mind, to finally drift away, thoughts only of him, dreams only of him.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Whelp there it is, Please Review, I'm not sure if it ended the way I wanted but positive feedback is always a plus tee-hee, so yeah like I mentioned earlier, tell me if I should keep it a one-shot or make a story out of it! Thanks bye!**


	2. When I sleep I dream

**Wee! Finally an update, I know sorry for all, I loved the reviews really! Just yanno the GaaSaku fics seem to be scarce lately and that sort of dimmed my morale to update this story, which even in the beginning was going to be a one-shot but I decided to make it multi chaptered! Hehe Anyways Um, read and review at the end please, sorry if it's too short for your liking, first chapter was at such a moderate length due to me thinking it'll end as a one-shot but now I want to pace myself throughout chapters.**

**Disclaimer: You know how it goes.

* * *

"_You were crying."_**

"_Huh? No…I don't think so." self consciously I bring a hand to my cheek to check for anything moist. " Not today." I give him a quizzical look and he continues. " When I opened my eyes you were the first one I saw. Crying,"_

_Oh. That's what he was talking about. "Was it…for me?"_

_XxXxXxX_

_Sometimes I don't sleep…but I can get kinda use to this. After all, He and I both know I'm not over him yet. After all, I know he's always going to be there awake, just like me._

_XxXxXxX_

Sometimes I don't sleep…I think we all know this by now. But when I do. I dream. I dream a million and one things, all irrelevant, all incomprehensible, more so unfathomable to my somewhat dimwitted nature, and yet there's always two that stand out, they are the essence of the dreams, they create it, fulfill it, and ultimately end it…_end_. What a bitter word.

The men of my dreams. I know it's suppose to be 'man' as in singular, _not_ plural, what a slut I am. Hah, that was a joke, really.

…Moving on.

Ya see I often relive, or dream to be more exact, the day Gaara and I developed our… 'relationship' of sorts. After rescuing him from the Akatsuki and when Chiyo resurrected Gaara with her life-restoring technique in combination with Naruto's chakra, bringing Gaara back to life at the cost of her own, I stood in Suna for awhile. With Naruto but there in the sand village I stood nonetheless. Seeing as Naruto was the closest to a friend as Gaara would get, we had special privileges within the village, him being Kazekage and all.

I often spoke with Kankuro and Temari, trivial things but at least a decent conversation amongst the day and often wondered how much Gaara had changed, you know from the phase of trying to kill me and my comrades and all. Call me crazy. Call me a kitty, a kunoichi kitty I might add, but I had to find out.

Curiosity killed the cat eh?

You can say that happened to me, well I didn't _die, _per say, I mean honestly it's not a ghost narrating this story. Anyhow, I knocked on his door and upon not receiving an answer walked in, I didn't feel any chakra so there seemed to be no threat. I surveyed the office and examined his desk and chair before sitting down with a small squeal, _Hehe I am the new Kazekage!_

Yeah I actually spoke the words ya see, out loud and all. What did that get me?

"_Really now. I thought I was the current one."_

I gulped, laughed nervously, oh! And upon rapidly jumping out of the seat knocked over, and by the look of his reaction, some very _very_ important documents onto the floor.

"_Out."_

Yeah you didn't have to tell me twice, I had weighed my options, he was in front of the door with the usual ' I am Gaara I'll kill you if you look at me the wrong way…no wait I'll just kill ya 'cause I want to' look and then there was the window. I swiftly looked at both options back and forth about 3 times before he moved an inch, and with a flinch on my part decided to just go.

Oh go where? Oh yeah, Out the window.

Good times…_sigh_ I toss and turn on my bed, The men of my dreams.

I avoided him like the plague, but one constant memory, one reoccurring dream based on actuality comes to me. Ya see it was my last night in Sunagakure and Temari thought we'd have a little girl's night out, just with…some guys, like Naruto and for some reason Kankuro. Yeah he always tagged along, I didn't mind at all, except for the couple of quick brushes on my thighs when I sat next to him, yeah that was fun. What was even better was when Naruto punched him.

Oh and then a fight broke out, and they both got kicked out. Then it became a real girl's night out. Temari had picked up some local, and even though, I bashfully admit had recieved a few pick up lines, I politely declined all the same, my mind still retracing the last moments with a certain raven haired nin. It was like that, each time, except for Naruto or just a male friend. If there was any new possible romantic interests or even some random flirting, I would automatically think back to _him_ and that was that, the answer was always no. _I hated myself._

Oh well.

"_Hey-hiccup-Sakura-chan, I'm going to…uck go back with Haru-"_

"_It's Hane." _

"h_ere you take care of yourself-hiccup- okay?"_

"_un huh."_

I was amazed that she managed to walk on her own and yet I was worried, she was leaving with some strange guy…and now I was by myself. I decided to leave shortly after paying my tab and then going in search of Naruto, hoping the two boys kicked out previously didn't decided to finish their little 'match' and kill one another.

The night I had realized then was much more brisk then earlier, and I was shivering, remembering my outfit, chosen by Temari nonetheless, was a red cut at the knees dress, that held a thin lace around the hips to be tied tightly to show off curves, I didn't tighten it.

After wandering for some time, checking all the nearby food stands I realized Naruto must've went back to our rented room, so as I walked quickly in the direction of our Inn. I had not expected what I saw that night. On the roof of his mansion, err handsomely fitted with marvelous furniture, furnished to that of the richest abode, was none other than the owner of the home, leader of the village.

"_Sabaku no Gaara…" I breathed_

Maybe that was wrong of me, for he had looked down, he eyes betraying any emotion within his well, might I say in the sand village's moonlight, wonderful body. His gorge was obviously the first thing my vision caught sight of and I backed away slowly, he didn't make a move to stand and instead looked back up to sky. I did too, and for that moment felt at ease.

I turn to my side and lay for a minute, closing my eyes slowly, unwillingly. I felt a shift in the room but I didn't look nor stir. Sleep was becoming of me.

"_The night is beautiful." the pink hared kunoichi commented as she hoped for a reply from the stoic red haired man upon the roof._

_She shuffled a little bit, unbalanced on her right leg, moving to her left, placing the other one behind her form, she stared up at him and upon closing her eyes, with ease, she concentrated chakra into her feet. "Can I come up?" Asking after the action to perform such a task made it seem she did not care for his reply and was going to do so either way._

"_Hn." she did as she had planned and jumped, landing semi-successfully next to his form, she wobbled a little bit, teetering on the edge of the roof, she felt she was about to fall when suddenly a small trickle of sand balanced her footing. She gazed at him in awe._

"_Did you just save me?" he did not respond, and she merely smiled. The dress was still short as ever, and she sat down, brought her knees up to her chin and huddled her body together for warm. "The night's sure get drastically cold in Suna huh?"_

"_Hn."_

_She mentally cursed him for responding as such. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye and noticed still the dark circles wrapping there way around his green penetrating eyes. Surely he should be able to sleep now, and he should be in bed by now, it was pretty late and all._

"_Gaara…why aren't you asleep?"_

"_Why aren't you." his curt response surprised her and she shifted uncomfortably for a minute or two, deciding to look at the stars instead of answering._

"_Why ask a question if you cannot answer it yourself."_

"_Not all questions have answers."_

_He looked at her, no readable emotion but somewhere inside it was evident he was curious as to what was held within her response. The 'why' behind the form of her retort._

_It seemed she had just released what she had said for she jerked her head to look at him and then sighed. " I mean…" she dropped her head, her gaze lowering._

"_Sometimes we do and…feel things, and no matter how hard or long we question it, there's no answer for it." He nodded slowly, understanding her, **knowing** what she meant. Sakura always had a double meaning to her words when the situation arose._

"_I can't sleep." she turned to look at him, shocked, and somewhat happy he actually took the initiative to speak. "Not on night's like this."_

"_I don't blame you." she looked upon the stars once more, and within it, and his silent presence found comfort, a peaceful comfort, where thoughts of a raven haired love was slowly but surely being pushed back to the further depths of her constantly perpetual thoughts. _

"_You know…" she giggled softly and he looked at her, a hint of curiosity. "you look like a panda." _

Smiled graced my lips as I slept, I could feel it even within a dream…

_As sand flowed around her she held her hands up in defense. "Sorry sorry! I take it back! I take it back!" The sand started to recede and then she smiled, a simple smile, a sad smile. "I like pandas a lot…" she looked at him and watched as he held a hand to one of his eyes circling the rim of the dark circles. _

_Funny. Gaara never got truly mad at Sakura for calling him Panda again from that day on._

XxXxXxX

I awake, it's not time for work yet, my shift is later in the day, so I obviously wish to sleep for a while longer, but tell me, who can honestly sleep when an arm is draped around your torso, pulling at you as If their life depended on it, causing your breath to be cut short.

No fear is compelled to whelm inside me and I slowly, cautiously as to not wake him, look down at the perpetrator of this act, I knew it was him, Gaara of my dreams, Gaara of my reality. I smile, a small smile, a sad smile. I gently release a hand from under his bone crushing weight of a body, not due to fat but muscle,_ hehe, _and gently push back a few strands of hair to look at his calm face.

Sometimes I don't sleep. But when I do, he does as well.

And...Sometimes I don't sleep. But when I do. I dream. I dream of both of them. Tonight I dreamt of him.

I look down at him, and as I lay my head slowly against the comfort of my pillow, realizing it's intoxicating scent is of a mixture of both Gaara's and my own, I realize _his_ scent can never leave me. As I close my eyes for the millionth time that day, but only the second time that would actually lead me to my dreams…

"_Thank you for loving me enough to let me go._"

And letting each other go we did.

**Dun dun dun! Whelp there ya have it! If ya couldn't tell, the mystery between Sasuke's and Sakura's relationship shall be revealed, kind of, in the next chapter. I'll tell ya this at least, they did depart with one another the same way they did in the anime, so just think about that little line just above the ending, "When did that happen then?!" hehe Review to find out!!!**


	3. When awake I daydream

**Aww, well my second chapter didn't go over to well, but no matter, I'm going to continue this fic regardless, the GaaSaku shipping as been down lately but I'm going to do my part to try and maintain it.**

**Who's with me!!**

**-crickets-**

**Alrighty then. Here we go.**

**Disclaimer: Nope still don't own. Oh! And sorry for any misspelling on Naruto related stuff hehe you can inform me on it in a review if need be. **

**Remember **_Italics _**are flashbacks you'll being seeing a lot in this chappie and it's going to be used with my concept of a 'blurred' state.**

**-X-**

_Sometimes I don't sleep. But when I do, he does as well._

_Sometimes I don't sleep. But when I do. I dream. I dream of both of them. I dreamt of him._

_I look down at him, and as I lay my head slowly against the comfort of my pillow, realizing it's intoxicating scent is of a mixture of both Gaara's and my own, I realize his scent can never leave me. As I close my eyes for the millionth time that day, but only the second time that would actually lead me to my dreams…_

"_**Thank you for loving me enough to let me go."**_

_And letting each other go we did.

* * *

_

"Sakura…wake up…Sakura." I can feel his fingers digging into the fabric of my clothes softly, shaking me to try and get my eyes open, I want to wake up…I really do.

"You're going to be late for work." I flutter my eyes a bit before waking up to see him hovering over me, he smiles lightly, only for a second, he can never be _too_ vulnerable around me.

Neither of them could.

I lift myself up gently and he backs up and turns his back to walk out the bedroom door, the light tapping of his feet on my floor, going further and further away from my hearing leaving me in a daze like state.

This has been happening often.

Sometimes I don't sleep. Yet when I sleep, I dream. But…

When awake, I dream as well. A daydream, a vision, a vision of memories.

Forgotten and heart-wrenching memories. Of him. Of Sasuke Uchiha.

I sigh softly and get rid of the covers engaging around my body and step into the room adjacent of mine where I could take a nice hot, relaxing shower. Soaking my hair and tired limbs I let my eyes fall slightly, half lidded as I stare at the water hitting my now rising hands, my hands…they look so, discolored. They look raggedy, weak, tired…broken.

"Sasuke…" I raise my head a little allowing the water to hit my throat, my line of sight is now the ceiling of my bathroom, and that's when the colors start to mix, the haze of the mist from the shower enlightens my sense and then dulls it down, the color is of a sky now…it's a dark surrounding just like that night that…

"_Sakura…_"Sakura!"... _Thank you."_

"...Sakura!"

"_Sasuke-kun…"_

**"Sakura!"** I snap my head to the door behind the curtains. "What's taking you so long? Sakura?" My eyes become downcast and I can't bring myself to answer, I only hug myself, the water seems to be colder, but the setting hasn't changed.

"Sakura if you don't answer I'm coming in."

"I'm alright." I let out meekly, I knew he wasn't bluffing. He's done it once before.

"_Sakura! Sakura!" Breaking through the door the red haired shinobi caught sight of the pink haired kunoichi he has come to adore and quickly grabbing a nearby towel, he opened the curtains and threw it upon her naked form, carrying her into her bedroom, checking her pulse and her head after._

_She had a fever, she had been out all night in the rain, doing what, he didn't know..._

_He was furious._

_Grasping her hand he placed his forehead upon it tenderly, every now and then he'd hit his forehead upon her unnaturally cold hand. "Stupid girl." He felt a squeeze and spontaneously rose his head to meet her eyes. She was smiling slightly._

"_Gaara…"_

"_What the hell do you think you were-"_

"…_Gaara." and that had silenced him, as he took one look at her and knew. He huffed angrily and stormed out of the room. In search of a medic-nin._

I turn off the shower and dry myself off languidly, stepping out into the hall I saw him standing there, leaning against the walling, eyes closed, calm as ever.

He was worried.

"Gaara, I'm fine really, you should go meet up with Naruto for lunch or an early dinner or something, I'm sorry I didn't wake up early…I…I don't know what came over me."

He grunted and followed me until I opened my door and was ready to take off my towel and change.

"Get dress quick. I rather not have ramen with the idiot." I looked at him dully. "Thanks" I muttered _loving_ how he only chose to wait for me because he didn't want go with Naruto. I was in the process of closing the door when his sand forced it to stay open, I looked at him bewildered.

"Perv-"

"I want to walk you." I was taken back, he normally doesn't walk me to the hospital only to Tsunade's office, and that's usually accompanied with the excuse that he has business there, even when I know he doesn't.

Flustered I tried to mutter out a response. "Um…Uh…thanks?" He nodded stiffly and turned to leave. Strangled I let out a 'wait' and he did without turning around.

"I'm fine…really." I let out somberly, looking down at the floor while clutching the towel extra tight against my chest.

"Sakura." I looked up at that to find he still hadn't turn around. "You're only fooling yourself." I gasped and was about to retort but his sand engulfed him and he was gone the next second.

I stood there for awhile.

**-X-**

Gaara and Sakura were walking side by side no contact between the two towards the Medical Clinic in Konoha. "So you going to see Naruto today?"

"Hn."

"Gaara…" she let out threateningly, heaving her hands to her hips. She was extra tired today. When he didn't respond she merely sighed but was jolted to stepping back when a loud shriek of "SAKURA-CHAN!" popped up in front of her.

Glaring daggers at the blonde haired doofus she slowly diverted her sight to Gaara and let a menacing growl escape from deep within her throat. "You…_could _have told me."

"You're a kunoichi, if your skills are lacking, I think you should evaluate that and handle it." She sighed pathetically and turned to look at Naruto.

"Naruto take Gaara for me, I'm going to be busy today at the hospital." Gaara looked over at her with one eye closed, observing her odd behavior. "Ya sure Sakura-chan?" she nodded in reply and he turned to the Kazekage. " Great! Gaara I'm starving let's get some ramen eh?!"

Gaara groaned lightly and glared at Sakura as she chuckled and waved goodbye before running off.

"Did I miss something?" Gaara merely ignored his friend's comment and watched as Sakura's image disappeared from sight, he would ask her about it later.

**-X-**

I had lied. The hospital wasn't busy at all, and I knew this because there was more attending staff today out of all days and all the patients were taken care of quickly. I still had work don't get me wrong but I still had loads of time to just sit and…wait.

Or daydream…

"Sakura-san you are needed in room 312-sector B"

"Alright" I respond lightly, swiftly moving down the corridors to get to the destination set. Upon there I saw the room was empty. Puzzled I searched around the room and then saw the white seethrough curtains flowing due to the window being open.

"Oh."

Walking over to the window I saw the tracks of blood. _Another _runaway patient. Walking over to the communication devices we set up for emergency contacting I reported a runaway patient and a few of the alerted staff went out in search, those whom knew of the patient's background and physical appearance.

Sitting on the bed and staring at the flowing silk and how perfectly white the room was. It was the direct opposite of that night and everything engulfed in it.

"Gaara…I'm sorry." It has been five years since _he_ officially left Konoha, and it had been only last week when Gaara found me in the shower unconscious. And it had been the night before that when I last saw _him_.

Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. Five years have made him grown, I suppose I had as well judging from the events of that night…yet…I was so…_stupid. _Naïve, gullible, he didn't grace me with any words to be gullible of, my words and myself was to blame.

I feel my body subconsciously inching towards the back board of the hospital bed, my eyes never leave the endless flowing of the silk with the wind. My eye's are drooping, I don't feel my self sleep, I don't feel myself necessarily dreaming.

It's still day, and my memories are coming back to me.

When I daydream, It's not Gaara that I daydream of…

_The pit pattering of the rain is endless and the pink haired Kunoichi is struggling throughout the streets of a nearby village, ally of Konoha to find shelter. She had come to this place for she heard they held Gaara's most favorite food choices. Something about Gizzards, Lizzards, she forgets but she knew she'd notice it upon seeing it._

_It was just her luck that with the sound of the clapping thunder, the downpour of rain would reach her before she reached her destination. _

"_Shit." Finding a dankly looking shack nearby she rushed into it and tried to dry herself off with her bare hands and then start to massage her own body for warmth._

"_Whomever you are, leave now or be killed." Her voice was stuck in her throat, the figure now moved behind her in an instant, a kunai placed against her throat. Her breath hitching from the sudden action she was concentrating on pouring chakra to her hands._

"_Who are-" Spinning her around Sakura tried to connect her fists into his stomach, the unknown man grabbed her by the wrist and tossed her over to something soft, but still with enough power that it broke in half. _

_Hearing the crack she thought it was her body at first and panicked but was relieved to find she could stand up instinctively as the man moved closer to her. "Stay back!"_

"…_Sakura." the darkness overwhelmed the entire area, there was not even a shed of light from the moonlight for the thundering clouds covered it. _

_But she **knew** that voice._

The last time I saw him before this night I tried to stop him was when he tried to kill Naruto and I, as well as the rest of Team Kakashi/Yamato...my hand raises slowly, all on it's own.

"_Sa-Sasuke…?" Trusting him and herself to move forward she let a hand reach out in the darkness but instantly regretted it as he grabbed it and pulled her towards him, spinning her around in the process so her arms were tied behind her back, and her body was in alignment with his own. _

_She uttered a shocked sob "Sasuke! Stop!" He was hurting her and she was trying to appeal to whatever humanity was left within him. "What are you doing here." his voice was laced with a severe, spiteful tone. _

"_I-I…came here…for-for some ingredients Sasuke…kun." she tried to include the honorific for emphasis, trying to get him to calm down and she felt it had worked when he let go off her. Her body tensed up though when she heard him call out the "Fireball jutsu"_

_Screaming lightly and placing her hands up to defend herself from the sure scorch to come she was surprised to see that he had used the Jutsu to light up the room somewhat. His intense stare left her speechless. "Why did you come into this shack then."_

_The sound of thunder clashed then and she winced, he looked at her bemused and she fidgeted under his stare._

_Sasuke was here right in front of her, after all this time , all she can do is revert back to her weak form. "Thunder…rain." She looked down upon her still damp form._

My body shakes.

"_wet." she let out meekly, lamely. And he started to move past her, kicking whatever scraps was left of the makeshift bed he had thrown her into. She rubbed her back upon witnessing the broken bed subconsciously, it didn't really hurt all that much._

_Bolding up a little bit she decided to speak. "What are…what are you doing here?"_

"_That is non of your concern. And my demand is still set. Leave or die." Clutching her chest with her hands she yearned for him to look at her as she pleaded to him. "Sasuke-kun please! We haven't seen each other in five years! FIVE YEARS!" she felt tears welling up in her eyes once more but blinked them back._

"_So much has changed…and you're still with Orochimaru…the Akatsuki, they, they went after a dear friend of mine and almost killed him! No doubt they want Naruto and...and I only fear they will take action soon! Don't you care?! Don't you-" her voice was caught._

_His looks had matured, his hair slightly longer than normal, still raven black, same obsidian eyes. Her form was slender and slightly taller, nowhere near his towering height, she had filled out but to a normal extent, nothing voluptuous. Her pink hair had grown out but it wasn't short nor long, a medium length to be tied up easily. Her emerald eyes were so filled with compassion it would be thought to break any moment now._

_He turned his head slightly and glared at her. "Out." Walking towards him slowly with baby steps, seeing with each new advance if he would attack her, when she was two feet away she brought her hand up, he grasped it hard and when she shifted her palm to try and entangle her fingers with his own he drew back._

"_If you were going to kill me…you would have by now." _

For a moment he morphs into the red haired demon himself but just as quickly...

_He turned his body fully to her and gave an indecipherable smirk, she stepped back and he threw up his hands aiming for her neck._

_Sa-_Sasuke KUN!"

"… Sakura-san, are you alright?" I looked up to the ceiling to try and recover my vision, lazily I twisted my head in the direction of the new voice, my neck still stiff and in the same position it was in previously, in link with my body, pointing towards the window.

"I'm fine."

"but you-" "I'm fine!" I had roared at the poor girl and she merely bowed and left the room in a scurry. I sighed and stood up walking over to the front desk. I asked for a leave of absence just for the remainder of the day, the nurse had asked why would I ask her that and I was more than welcomed to, I smiled in reply and told her I'd see her tomorrow bright and early.

**-X-**

When I daydream…It's not Gaara I daydream of…but Sasuke.

And when I daydream of him, I recall all the reasons I…All the reasons I...

I stop when I come across Ichiruka, I saw Naruto animatedly throwing his arms in the air, some noodles slipping from his already filled mouth and Gaara was just sitting there staring straight ahead, no doubt trying to ignore the fool.

I chuckled in mirth and I decided to try and walk up to them but then…Gaara turned to Naruto, his red hair becoming raven black for a mere second and then back again, as if static before my eyes. His eyes flashing in anger, Naruto caught this and laughed nervously, Gaara then brought up his hands and aimed them for Naruto's neck. I try to let out...

"Gaa-_Sasuke-kun!"_

_His hands wrapped around her neck, and she shut her eyes tight about to punch through him when his right hand moved quickly to the back of her head and forced her forward._

_The next thing she knew his lips were upon hers._

All the reasons I love him.

_Eyes snapping open and widening in shock she gasped against his cold lips and he darted his tongue in with the given opportunity, she found herself struggling. This wasn't the way it was suppose to be, her first kiss with Sasuke was suppose to be in a warm loving embrace, not with a malicious intent!_

_Kicking him in the shin and using her super strength she pushed him so hard he slightly flew across the shack into the already broken bed. Panting heavily she called out his name in worry and when he didn't respond, and since the fire was blown out due to the shear force of her shove she was straining her eyes to see movement._

"_Sas…Sasuke? Treading over lightly to his form she heard him grunt and stepped back._

"_Tch." Getting up and dusting his pants he walked over to her, she held her fighting stance and was prepared for anything he'd throw at her, regardless if she was strong enough or not. _

_And she knew she was not._

"_Nice demonstration." Raising his hand once more he stopped in front of her face, his palm curved into a horizontal position. "This time." He moved it forward closing the distance as it lightly landed on her cheek, caressing it, and Sakura's hands start to fall to her sides helplessly. "Don't fight it."_

_He kisses her again, and this time it wasn't rough, she closed her eyes instinctively and leaned into the kiss, the once fallen hands now making their way onto Sasuke's body. Her left hand found it's place on his hip while the other reached behind his neck. He titled her head with his hand as the other grazed the small of her back, he started to lick the bottom of her lips and she hesitantly opened for him._

_Moaning into his kisses and sweet treatment she called out a name. "Gaara…" He broke free of her lips abruptly and stared at her, perplexed and angry. "Gaara?" he asked sternly. She shut her eyes tightly berating herself silently and asking herself why she had committed such act, her eyes flew open when he gripped her shoulders._

"Sakura!" That voice...

"_Sakura!" She diverted her gaze to the dark room, the rain still persist but she hadn't noticed it as much as she did now this very moment. "Look at me!" his voice was grave. _

"Sakura...look at-"_I said… look.at.me." _

_She could feel his hands on her shoulders tighten,_ I could feel it as if it was really happening again.His hands were shaking me, _He shook her_, placed upon my shoulders, I could feel it as his fingers dented into the fabric of my nursing outfit, his hands…_his hands were hurting her_…they were trying to get me to snap out of it , they were soft yet urgent.

_He brought his face close to hers_, I could feel his breath upon my lips_, his eyes held such intensity. _

_"Sak-_SAKURA!"

And then…with his hands gripping my shoulders in worry, his face so close to mine, I wanted to cry when I saw him.

"Gaara…" I let out breathlessly and I felt my legs buckle, his arms held onto my shaking form tightly and I proceed to fall.

I was falling fast and hard.

Sometimes I don't sleep, but when I sleep I dream.

…And sometimes when I'm awake I dream too, I dream a daydream.

And when I daydream, I reverie of him. Hallucinate, as if he's right there. Reality becomes mixed with fantasy, with memory, one that can be so _undeniably_ hard to overlook. When he is the embodiment of my plaguing thoughts and the manifestation of my imaginings all I can do is…

All I can do is cry.

"_Thank you for loving me enough to let me go._"

* * *

**Confused? So am I. Don't worry, the next chapter will be up soon clearing up a few things.**

**Please Review even if it's with a"This suck" comment. They help motivate me to work faster and let's me know if I'm doing something right, unless if you review with the example given, then I guess something wrong, hehe :sweatdrops:**

**Thanks Love of Midoriko for the first review on Chapter 2, sorry you were confused and I'm sure this chapter doesn't help haha**

**Artemis85 thanks also! **


	4. Sometimes I hallucinate

**Weee! I am so happy I am confusing everyone! Haha, but really, I, as always, would like to say sorry once again that I take so long to put these chapters out, to be honest with my other stories and how rarely I get time to type, this is the last on my list to update, not that I don't love it, just that I need a certain amount of time to brainstorm and plus there isn't a dire need to update seeing as it's not my most popular fic hehe**

**Warning: Lemon!**

**Anyways hope you all enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: you know the deal.**

"_Gaara…" I let out breathlessly and I felt my knees buckle, his arms held onto my shaking form tightly and I proceed to fall. _

_I was falling fast and hard._

_Sometimes I don't sleep, but when I sleep I dream._

…_And sometimes when I'm awake I dream, I dream a daydream._

_And when I daydream, I reverie of him. Hallucinate, as if he's right there. Reality becomes mixed with fantasy, with memory, one that can be so undeniably hard to overlook. When he is the embodiment of my plaguing thoughts and the manifestation of my imaginings all I can do is…_

_All I can do is cry._

**X**

The walk back, although I was unconscious was definitely the most shameful I could have ever experienced. His arms wrapped securely around me, I wanted to be awake, to not have my eyes closed allowing the many memories to rush at me.

Being awake probably wouldn't have been any better anyways…

Sometimes, I want to pretend what is real, is not.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perceptions becomes distorted, hazy and unreal yet oh _so_ very believable, just…like my dreams. It's indescribable really, what I see, what becomes my disillusions brought to me by my own fucked up mind. My inner voice is not even the beginning of the mess that is my mind, you see…these hallucinations, they can bring about great, _great_ consequences.

We arrive at the house and he gently places me on the bed, I am sure he is worried as well as questioning what exactly happened today, wondering why I was so delved into my daydream, he is hovering over me and I want to wake up…so badly, I do, but for now I think I'll rest. I need rest.

**X**

I awake at night, it's funny how the luminescent sky is only provided to us because of the many shimmering stars above us, and yet we don't get to thank them properly, not even the moon. I push the covers down and swing my legs over to the side of the bed, I stare at the sky without thought of what I should be doing.

When one awakes should we really always hurry to get on with the day? Hurry to get on with a busy non-fulfilling life? Why not stay asleep a little while longer? For when we sleep, everything is at peace, nothing can harm you.

Well…almost nothing.

_Sasuke…_

Gently I lift my swaying body, still limp from sleep and with help from the walls I travel down the hallway to reach my destination, I can hear the sounds from here. He is watching TV, with not a care in the world, you'd think he would with being Kazekage of a whole village and all, but nope, not a care in sight whatsoever.

_Grasping her hand he placed his forehead upon it tenderly, sometimes he'd hit himself upon her unnaturally cold hand. "Stupid girl." He felt a squeeze and spontaneously rose his head to meet her eyes. She was smiling slightly._

"_Gaara…"_

"_What the hell do you think you were-"_

"…_Gaara." and that had silenced him, as he took one look at her and knew. He huffed angrily and stormed out of the room. In search of a medic-nin._

My hand, is warm now, no doubt from the covers it laid in not moments ago, but still, I feel cold, seeing him there, seeing his façade of coolness, I know he does have a care in the world, and that care is for me.

I walk over and he turns his head only slightly to look out of his peripheral vision to acknowledge me, I plop down on the couch and take a glance at what he was watching, some murder mystery, probably figuring out how he could cover up his next kill without being caught.

I snort.

He looks at me shortly before returning back to the movie. We sit there in silence for awhile as I fidget with the hem of my clothes, I just now notice I was changed from my uniform to my nightclothes. It should bother me, especially if Naruto the idiot did it, but I know Gaara was the one who was the perpetrator…and that doesn't bother me.

I close my eyes in frustration from the silence and I'm seriously contemplating letting out my chakra in order to use my super strength upon the red headed bane of my existence.

"Your now equal comrade, Kakashi and that bothersome boy Lee stopped by to check on you, they want you to call them or visit when you can."

Just like that it's the end of his little message, the bastard. I turn to look at him and he is just looking at me to respond, give him an update on my condition or an explanation as to what the hell happened out there today.

"_I'm fine…really." _

"I'm fine…" His look doesn't change. "really."

"_Sakura." _

"_You're only fooling yourself." _

This time he says nothing, he simply lowers his eyelids slowly before rising from the couch and moving into the kitchen. " You must be hungry." My eyes jet across my lap and back rapidly surveying the surface of it in an attempt to calm my self down.

I'm thinking, I'm in pain, I am most definitely in denial if I am to believe he doesn't want to know the truth, and that I am actually able to keep it from him so long. He doesn't await a response and simply starts to cook, he is pretty decent, I am better thanks to my mom, but still, a great trait for a future husband.

I jump up and I can hear the clang of the pots stop immediately, his gaze from behind on me, I am sweating, I am flaccid, I am…hallucinating.

_Husband? Did I really just think Gaara as…_

Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not.

I turn to look at him slowly, I am in fear of what I will see, and in disbelief once I see it, he is staring back at me, pots in hand hanging loosely, his form is yearning to walk over to me and pull me into his arms, to comfort me, to love me unconditionally.

Am I ready?

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted…

"Gaara…" I sob, I am on the brink of tears, I don't want to cry, I really don't, but with his hands on me in that moment's instance, my head falling so perfectly between the crook of his neck, his hands on my hair, soothing and comforting, I cry, I cry so hard. He doesn't mind the tears, at least I can't tell, it soaks his shirt, and I am thrown right back into that wet, moist surrounding.

It was raining that day, remember?

"_Thunder…rain." She looked down upon her still damp form._

"_wet." she let out meekly, lamely. _

My shaking form ceases after some time but he is still holding onto me, I look up slowly and realized the close proximity. He looks down at me, his bangs partially covering his eyes and his glare, they are softer somewhat, waiting for me to make a move…no, he's not waiting. I divert my gaze to the floor, my shoulders slump.

"_Sakura!" She diverted her gaze to the dark room, the rain still persist but she hadn't noticed it as much as she did now this very moment. "Look at me!" his voice was grave. _

"_I said… look.at.me." _

"Sakura…it's okay." My eyes widen but I dare not look back. " It's okay to look at me, you are the only one besides Naruto who looks at me without any hate, without hidden disgust, Sakura…"

I want to cry again.

"Look…at….me."

He pulls me in tightly, his hands are not constricting on my shoulders, they just merely bring me into his chest, trying to consume me. His chin rests on my head, he squeezes my small frame and whispers. "Please."

_He brought his face close to hers, his eyes held such intensity. _

He slowly pushes me back and grips my attention with his eyes, gleaming and enwrapping, dark yet… "Please…" He brings his face close to mine and I don't pull back, I don't even dare to close my eyes yet the image, the hallucination of _his _face still doesn't dissipate. _He_ is the one that is coming closer, not Gaara, my brows furrow and then…

Sasuke's face shatters into a million pieces as Gaara kisses me.

My eyes instantly close and nothing emerges from the dark depths of my mind, and I feel my hands find their way around Gaara's neck, my body is being pushed back to a miscellaneous wall. His hand runs down from my rosy locks to my hips, bringing me closer as my back arches to the touch, colliding with the wall once more.

"Saku…_Sakura…_" No…Please no.

My eyes open and it's him. It's him! Stop! STOP!

"Sakura…didn't know you could moan and react so quickly to my touches…"

"Sasuke…"

A smirk, he lets go and growls. " That's right Sakura, I am _always_ going to be apart of you, don't even think for a moment you could get rid of me."

"Stop…please…please!" Runaway, just runaway, I have to…

"You wanna run? Run from me, or **him, **all you would be doing is chasing your own image! You can't escape me! Understand?!" He grips my shoulders, it hurts…it hurts so much.

I close my eyes.

"_Sakura_…Sakura! Snap out of it!" He shakes me, and I hear his voice pleading.

"Open your eyes…open them dammit! I am NOT Sasuke!"

…He's…not Sasuke. His hands fall down to his side, my eyes have opened, and it's him. Not Sasuke, just Gaara. I raise my hands slowly but he is too far too reach, he is gone now, remnants of sand only left behind. I fall to the floor, the only thing I can do right now, just fall.

**X**

"Go to her…she needs you, the teme still haunts her even to this day huh? Sakura-chan…I haven't been there for her."

The blonde haired boy only received a grunt from his oh so very conversational buddy. The boy sighs and places one hand on the red head's shoulder.

"You love her. And I can't compete…" He looks up at his friend's words questioningly.

"She loves you too." his demeanor doesn't change, he doesn't believe it. " She does, I can see it, she use to look at Sasuke like that-wait-no-no don't get mad, It's different this time though, honest!"

Gaara moves to get up and Naruto follows as he moves towards the door. "Her love was unrequited and full of pain, this one, she is happy, she is really happy Gaara."

Gaara makes no mention of acknowledging his words and simply opens the door and exits, Naruto doesn't follow him, knowing that he is going back to Sakura, because he believed his words.

**X**

I am laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, when did the stars go away and let the rain replaced them?

The door opens and shuts softly, he came back…I feel myself smile yet my heart twist in excruciating pain, I have to face him now, he probably hates me and came to told me just that. I don't want to move but it seems I don't need to, he comes into my room directly and even though the light is off I can see him staring at me through the darkness.

"Sakura, we need to talk."

I stay laying down without responding, he moves closer to the bed and sits upon the side, I feel his warmth and the cold air surrounding me is gone, who would've thought Gaara was anything but cold?

" I know you still love Sasuke" -"Gaara"- "Shut up." I instantly close my mouth and search through the darkness for his lips, his words. " I know you love him, but something I don't know for sure is whether or not you love me too."

My face scrunches up and I bite my lower lip to keep from answering. I do! I LOVE YOU! I do!

"I know you love him, but you must know, how…I feel about you." He turns around and grips my hand in his own. " You know, how I feel, you must know…"

He leans in down upon my body and kisses me, why? Why Gaara? After all I've done, all I've said, all I haven't said! Why!

He pulls back. " I'm not going to leave you like he did Sakura." My heart… " I will never leave you if you tell me to stay." He still holds my hand, tightly. " I know what it feels like, to love…and then be betrayed, I don't want you to go through life without love, like I have."

I sit up and he continues. " I've hated…for so long…and then that idiot came and, with him…you. You Sakura. I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't love easily, but I do-**shit** Sakura, I... love you."

I throw myself on him and he wraps his arms around my form instantly, I cry into his neck while kissing it muttering 'I'm sorry' 'forgive me' 'stay, stay, just…stay!'

" I will… I will…" He will, he's staying, he's not leaving, not like Sasuke, Sasuke…you will leave my mind, I will not dream of you, at night or morning, I will not hallucinate of you not any- "_Sakura…"_

_He closed the space between their lips and pushed her onto the cold floor. _

_"I'll make you forget about Gaara."_

" Make…me forget, Gaara."

_He continues to kiss her and she is struggling, embarrassed about what just conspired and the fact that he is on top of her in such a compromising position. " Sakura, don't fight me."_

"_Please Sasuke…"_

"Please Gaara…" I had pulled him down upon me, we are on my bed and he is on me, looking at me with a mix of indecision and wanting. " Please…" I am the one pleading now. He complies.

_His hands move across her thighs and around her back as she pushes up her form to collide with his own_, _she is babbling incoherent protests and acceptance as he bites down on her neck softly, not leaving a mark and his hair is brushing against her face._

"_Don't tell me you don't want this…" He grins his cocky grin and she looks up pleading. " No." yet she nods her head in approval, he smirks and captures her lips within his own once more as his hands graze her breasts._

"Sakura…maybe we shouldn't…tell me if you really want this." He is Sasuke, Sasuke is Gaara, I can't tell anymore.

Sometimes I hallucinate and I want to pretend what is real, is not.

"Sakura…" his red hair brush against my eyes as he bends to kiss me, and his lips, his kisses are not his, they are Sasuke's.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted.

I reach up to touch his face, his cheek, I slide my hand across his moist lips and over his eyes, closing them slowly removing the piercing green orbs and replacing them with black. He kisses my palm, and I moan as he moves directly onto of me, I could feel my legs widening open.

"_Tell me you want me Sakura…" He flicks a tit and she groans as he smirks in triumph._

" _I want you Sasuke-kun." He lifts her dress up and comes in contact with the only defense she has left. " Sasuke…kun."_

I am biting my lip, his hands upon my flesh is so mellifluous, so perfect as he slides his forefingers down the front of my body, he wraps his hand around my torso and picks me up easily as he kisses me. "Sakura. Are you sure?"

_He kisses her to silence her, he doesn't know if he is annoyed by her moaning voice or so enticed that he will loose his cool any minute now. His kisses travel down her neck and he proceeds to tear the panties off her form. " Virgin? Wait, hah, why should I ask…my cherry blossom waited for me no doubt."_

_She doesn't take offense, it's true._

_And that was all the notice she had before the pain commenced. Screaming she tries to transform her moans of pain and pleasure into words._

" _I love you, ahh!-I love-love you Sasuke-kun, oh gawd!…I lo-"_

" I love you…I am sure."

She moans and pulls him to her, he had already undid his undergarments so all there was left was the insertion. She was already experienced, no pain, just pleasure, she wanted him inside her again.

Her eyes snapped open and so did his…

This wasn't Sasuke. And I didn't scream out like a virgin would, Gaara looked hurt as his form stilled within me.

I'm a Liar…

"_Hmph…" He pulls out slowly while grunting and her form visibly reacts, shuddering while her legs wrap around his lower spine. He thrusts right back in, hard and firm this time and she squeaks before moaning his name out again, the floor is cold, but their bodies are burning._

"_Saku-ra, ugh…" he starts up a rhythm that Sakura picks up and flows along with. ' He loves me…he loves me…' she tells herself._

He is still and I can feel the anger radiating off of him. Slowly his face is coming back, his green eyes, his red hair, the distorted perception returning to normalcy, this was Gaara, my Gaara, the one whom I betrayed.

He is moving out, but I place my hands on his neck and pull him back but he struggles and pushes me away. I try again and force our connection to go deeper, he groans and I arch to him, my breast hitting his chest.

"Gaa-_Sasuke!"_

_He is finishing and she is climaxing, her womanhood throbbing against his pulsating member, he yells out her name and slumps against her and she holds him haphazardly, both breathing heavily, trying to keep awake._

"_I love you…I-"_

"_Shut up."_

"Gaara!" I moan and he pumps into me, he fills me completely and it's tight, grazing my insides, but I can take it, hallucination gone, reality hitting hard, this is Gaara making love to me, no _fucking _me, because of me, this is not love making.

" I-Gaa…ra- I'm-"

"Shut up."

And I cry.

_She cries and he loosens her grip on him as he moves off her and rolls to her side instead. "This is not love, this is sex Sakura." She brings her hands upon her face trying to control her sobbing but they don't cease._

"_You have your Gaara to get back to, do you not? I wonder how he'll feel…tell him this for me." He is placing his clothes on, and the rain is still ongoing. _

"_Payback is a bitch."_

He finishes, I never orgasm, I am sure he doesn't cum either, it was a natural end. He doesn't fall against me, he doesn't roll to his side, he doesn't remark with cruel words, he simply gets up, zips up what needs to be zipped up and walks away.

" I loved you."

" _I loved…you"_

" _You don't know what love is." She moves, crawls while the sheets partially cover her form, the darkness covering the rest. " I…loved… **love **you." He stares down at her, his nose stuck up and he grunts in annoyance. " You're pathetic."_

_He turns to move but her hands grips his leg. " I know…that I love you, and you…Sasuke-kun." he turns his body acutely to her. He is listening she could feel his and her heart beating._

"_You love me to." He doesn't respond but instead bends down and turns to her, eyes stabbing. He smirks and she lets the tears match the downpour outside. ' no…he loves…no he doesn't love…'_

_He kisses her and she responds instantaneously but he pulls back. " Hn, I guess I do. That's what makes this so much fun." He gets up and leaves the shambled shack._

'_Gaara, I am so sorry'_

"Gaara…I'm sorry." He doesn't hear me, I don't move, even though I am in soiled sheets, and the sent of sex lingers in the air, I lay there, staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not.

Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted.

With that…as I am unable to decipher real from fantasy, as I am unable to realize what is past and what is present, my life in itself becomes distorted.

What is happening to me? I'm going to- I'm losing control over my mind- I've got to kill off this thinking, It's starting to sink in…

" I loved you too…"

Without you I can finally see.

"Gaara...Thank you for loving me enough to let me go."

**I am horrid, this has to be the most crackish fic I have ever made, ever. Just stop reading guys, seriously rofl! Some words were inspired by "Attack" from 30 seconds to mars lyrics. Try to find them!**

**But! If you wish to leave a review stating your disgust, go right ahead, It's not over yet got about 4 or 5 more chapters to go!**


	5. Gaara: I never use to sleep

**It sure has been forever eh? Don't judge me, not like this is some infamous fic and I have to much on my plate and I wouldn't want to give some half-assed chapter, I try to put all my being into a chapter.**

**Funny how I am doing this at work tee-hee. I actually contemplated ending it here and now, decided against it, but realized it's still going to be forever between updates unless I killed a few stories off, I have like 6 stories in progress, pretty bad. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own, love ya all and thanks for those whom stuck with this fic thus far.**

_Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not._

_Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted._

_With that…as I am unable to decipher real from fantasy, as I am unable to realize what is past and what is present, my life in itself becomes distorted._

_What is happening to me? I'm going to- I'm losing control over my mind- I've got to kill off this thinking, It's starting to sink in…_

"_I loved you too…"_

_Without you I can finally see._

"_Gaara...Thank you for loving me enough to let me go."_

_X_

Blood, blood use to be my only justification in knowing I was alive…

The reason for my existence…Why was I alive?

Why did this happen to me…

Why…

Killing…

Blood…

Crying…her tears, her crying, her tears-her, her,_ her…_

_I use to have only one reason to live…_

Emerald eyes, piercing emerald eyes.

_Now I have two.

* * *

_

The cool night sky was barely brought to his attention as his feet graced the harsh, cool, dirt filled ground below. He didn't return her pleading glances and the sensation that was telling him…begging him..

_Gaara…_

_I'm sorry- I love you_

_Sorry, so sorry so- GAARA!_

Sand encompassed his body in a protective like matter, his emotions driving the impulsive based action that just took place, even without Shukaku the sand was still his keeper, still his protector…infused with the blood that was bled on his mother's behalf.

_I use to have only one reason to live…_

"Mother…What is this…feeling?" Clutching his chest, it was not what Yoshimaru had informed before; it was a whole new kind of pain.

"Why…why is this happening to me?!" Sand dissipating from it's protective stand went into offensive attack, destroying the benches and trees nearby, the gravel on the floor rising from the swishing sounds and abundant amount of winds generated from the sand's consistency of destruction.

_Gaara…_

"Sakura…"

" _I love you…I am sure."_

"You…"

_Gaara…I'm sorry._

"You lied to me!!!!" Falling on his knees, the sand dying out, falling into shattered remnants of the strength it once held, the crumbling of his body dared not compared to the crumbling of his once forsaken, then whole, and not broken heart.

_Gaara…_

"I loved you." Scrapping at the kanji on his head, as if to tear it off his skin, he never felt such a feeling before; never felt the stinging of his eyes…_what is this feeling mother? Why did she do this to me? How could I trust her and then she… how could she…_

_What is…this liquid?_

"_I loved you…too"_

"LIAR!"

The nighttime breeze, usually that to bring comfort only felt harsh against his porcelain like skin, only gave more reason for this new sensation, this burning feeling that was eating him away inside to stay… a little bit…longer.

"Sakura…How could you…How could you-I thought…" A feeling grasped him like no other, and soon he came to find it wasn't that of his imagination, pink locks shaded then usual due to the unnatural darkening of the skies, clouds passed, and it looks as if it would rain.

_Rain like that night, the night she came home to be different, the night he…_

"Sakura…"

"Gaara…"

_The night he took you away from me._

"_I loved you too…"

* * *

_

I never use to sleep, the demon inside me would take over and destroy what little control I had and the forsaken place I called home if I did.

I never use to sleep; the assassins would come when they thought I was most vulnerable, when they thought I slept.

I never use to sleep, until I lost Shukaku and I awoke from the dead, blue eyes staring back me, worry, concern, true emotion for my wellbeing, those weren't the only eyes.

_Gaara!_

Emerald eyes so filled with fear, followed up by sadness, a deep sense of loss, those eyes, the same eyes I saw back with…Uchiha.

_Sasuke._

She protected him, during…the fight, in the forest…he, I wanted to-kill, kill that's all I…she protected him and I hurt her because of it.

Had she always protected him, will always protect him, does she protect him now? Or me?

No, she's hurt me, destroyed me, killed me!

"Sakura…"

And she's crying, her hands are on me, she's apprehensive, but brave, bold, I've always…loved that about her, she was mine, mine alone, supposed to be mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

"Gaara …I'm sorry."

I never use to sleep, until I found my second reason to live.

Her.

…her…

…her.

She smiles at me, why is she smiling, her beautiful smile that drew me in just like before, I can tell now, I can finally see…I have been so blind.

"Thank you Gaara, for everything."

It's fake. She's lying all over again.

"You…" my voice, the hatred is back, it' all coming bck, Sakura, run, run-I don't want to hurt you!

Her eyes have fear in them, but only for a second. She stands rigid, she is still holding onto me, grip tight, her eyes, have they always be this defiant?

"You…you are going to see him aren't you?! AREN'T YOU?! You! You lied to me!" Sand whirls about her, it is holding her down.

I loved you

….I loved you.

_Gaara…Please._

"SPEAK!" her mouth is drawn shut, a thin line, her eyes are half-lidded, she is sad, Sakura…Please, Help me, Tell me that you…

"Gaa…ra, Thank you…Thank you for…"

I don't want to hear!!!

The sand wraps around her frail body a bit tighter, suffocating her, she is struggling to breathe, is this how it feels, to kill the one you love, I loved you…and you…

You killed me.

"Thank…thank you for-fo..for… loving me, Gaara lov…loving me enough to let me go…"

Letting you go?! How could I let you go if I never had you to begin with! Letting you go to him, _him,_ Letting you go to…

"Gaara I…"

"I never wanted you to begin with."

I never use to sleep, until I found my second reason to live.

Today…

The sand, it loosens, it's done its job, the way to kill never leaves a person, it shall always be my purpose, my purpose to prove my existence…

As I watch her stilled body that burning sensation arises again, what is this liquid, is this blood? Can blood be as transparent as this?

"I used to have two reasons to live…and I've lost one."

I never use to sleep, until I found that second reason to live, that reason to watch her as she slept, until I would follow soon after. Until I found my place beside her, and she allowed me that peace of mind to finally drift away, thoughts only of her, dreams only of her.

Today I've lost that second reason to live.

**As you can guess, I am now doing all perspectives in General or Gaara, as I did for the first four chapters with Sakura, The concepts you will find will be the same as in Sakura's POV. So go back and re-read and find the similarities! **

**Thanks so much guys really**

**Anglelusfaith, Sasuke-Sakura-14, Artemis85, Mad-4-Manga, Omg Totally love ya girl, missed ya! A True Dreamer, and last but definitely not least my main supporters, Love of Midoriko and FanofInulover, you guys push me forward!**

**P.s I didn't edit, sorry! go ahead and tell me of any mistakes, thanks!**


	6. Gaara: I dream a nightmare

**It's 3 am…I don't even know why in the world I am doing this.**

**Enjoy**

**This is dedicated to HPBabe19, my sister, thanks for giving my story a chance and then actually liking it, and Sasuke-Sakura 14 for REALLY liking it haha, Love ya guys.**

_As I watch her stilled body that burning sensation arises again, what is this liquid, is this blood? Can blood be as transparent as this?_

"_I used to have two reasons to live…and I've lost one."_

_I never use to sleep, until I found that second reason to live, that reason to watch her as she slept, until I would follow soon after. Until I found my place beside her, and she allowed me that peace of mind to finally drift away, thoughts only of her, dreams only of her._

_Today I've lost that second reason to live

* * *

_

Dreams are like memories…memories forged from raindrops produced by endless of skies where angels are weeping…can devils, demons themselves weep, cry as well? To lose something so precious, can those dreams turn to nightmares that haunt you, watch your every move to only replay it at night?

As if the day itself wasn't enough.

_**Sometimes I don't sleep. But when I do. I dream. I dream of both of them. I dreamt of him.**_

Now that I sleep…I can't help but dream, I don't know how to make them stop…there's no guide to this slumber, no instructions on how to end the constantly perpetual thoughts that strike like knives at every turn.

Every time I sleep…I dream, I dream a nightmare. Fucking memories coming back full vengeance, memories that continue to relay to me the horrors of my past in the form of a nightmare.

A dream.

Is it all a dream?

Is she alive? Did she…die? Mother…did I _kill_ the one person I had left in this world?

It's not just a dream.

As to what's depicted in the images, it is all as I see it.

I left her still body that night…haven't seen her since, haven't seen Naruto since, haven't slept a peaceful sleep since…

I use to sleep because of her, and when I slept, I dreamt.

Not of nightmares.

She was always there, _Sakura_, Sakura…you were always in my dreams, a smile, you were happy with your laughs…a smile, a smile meant for me. You were always…

Only _me._

_Where did we go wrong?_

Here is home…home now…Suna, my hell. My home. My residence, **not** my home. _She _told me once-

"_Home is where the heart is silly!"_

"_Heart?"_

"_Yeah…we all have one you know?" He places a hand hesitantly over his own heart and frowns, she laughs. Closing the gap between the two she casually places her hand within his own and guides it to her own heart. His eyes widen only for a fraction of a section, at the gesture itself, but it is quickly replaced with intrigue._

_Moving closer he bends allowing his ear to hover over the place where their hands are connected, the place where he hears the heart beat, faster…it's quickly rising in pulse. He doesn't take notice of her blush, curiosity being his emotion at the moment. He doesn't even take notice as she slowly releases their conjoined hands and with said hand places it leisurely about his mop of red hair._

"_This is your heart…this is where, home, home is here?" His lower cheek and chin is now pressed against her upper abdomen, his ear directly placed upon the fabric of her clothes covering the warmth of her body and the beating heart inside. Her hand glides across his hair, becoming entangled in no time and she sighs in the sheer sensual moment of it all._

_He takes no notice and pulls back abruptly._

"_That's absurd…" he walks away stiffly, she sighs dejectedly and turns to continue cooking, her apron now fumbled about in a mess and wrinkled, the sayings 'home is where the heart is' not as visible as it once was._

My home was back with her.

* * *

The papers upon the desk was not something of a welcoming for Gaara as he arrived back home, assuming leadership of Kazekage once more. Temari and Kankuro welcomed him back home with worried looks about their face, he said nothing in return to their inquiry, merely glancing at them once over and starting for the desk with the abundance of documents.

He had been there not more than a day when he had pushed his chair back, sand whirling about on it's own destroying a few objects in the room. The window opening, his sand levitated him from his ground position within the room and he took to the skies.

Finding a secluded area, he sat there for awhile eyes beckoning to be closed…not wanting to close them in fear, _fear_, he feared...because of Sakura. The tormenting images.

_What have I done?!!_

He didn't know when it was exactly that he had succumb to the will of sleep.

"_**Thank…thank you for-fo..for… loving me, Gaara lov…loving me enough to let me go…"**_

"_**I never wanted you to begin with."**_

It didn't take long to get back, it never took long to do the things you wish could be extended, when you wish you could freeze time or that the day would just drag on instead of ending…no, that's when time passed you by.

Five thousand, sixty-three hundred and twenty-four documents were on his desk.

Every minute of every day, every second to which that smile was presented, to which you were once happy, once upon a time, every time he was with her, time had no limit, no number, no definition. Numbers did not exist.

There was no way he could cope. What reason was there now? His village…he had a village.

_I murdered her._

A Kazekage was he, _but not for long._

"Kankuro."

"..Yes, Gaara-" he shook his head, no need for honorifics. This was personal.

"I've done…something." Kankuro gulped and Temari fidgeted, afraid of where this would lead to, they were in the room initially to see if they could relieve him of some work. The didn't know he would soon mean for it to be permanent.

"I will soon, no longer be Kazekage..."

"Gaara! What do you mean?"

"What did you do Gaara?" Temari begged, fearful of what her brother did and what it could be of consequence to him and his life here in the village, with them, and his life in it and of itself.

"Sakura…" he couldn't breathe…what was this feeling? Such grief, such pain, such unbearable pain.

He stood and walked to exit the room, only stopping to acknowledge the two in the room long enough to give his final words. "Assume leadership, control chaos, its in your hands now."

The sand whirled before either could protest.

* * *

I will be hunted, I will be killed in response to my actions…

No fight.

I use to have two reasons to live…I never thought I could lose both at once.

My first reason, my existence. Kill to know I exist. Kill to prove…

I merely do not exist anymore, I am dead inside, taken with her life was mine... what was left of it. Was it to be mended? Mother…was there a chance at happiness? Was there a chance that I could have…

I never wanted to get a phone, the point seemed so useless, face to face conversations should be the only way to do go about conversing with shinobi and those worthy of my time. As it rings I know the only reason I had ever bought the pathetic device was because _she_ made me.

I pick it up, _she_ was the only one that called…

She won't be calling ever again.

"Gaara?"

"Gaara!"

"…Naruto Uzamaki."

"Don't give me that shit! What did you DO!"

….what did I…do?

What have I _done_.

"Gaara! You fucking bastard, listen to me! You've…Sakura, you've…"

"…yes?" cool, calm, and collected. Revert back to yourself. Revert back to when before you met her benevolent, hurting soul. I couldn't save her, I couldn't make her forget, I couldn't _love _her enough. I killed her, in the end I killed her. She did not love me.

Mother…I killed you as well…did you too not love me?

"You bastard! I told you I'd kill you if you ever laid a hand on her! She's crying her eyes out, and won't come out for days, How could you do this to her?!"

"…crying?"

"Yes crying you son-" Crying…she's…

Sakura. I killed you…Sakura I-

_**The sand, it loosens, it's done its job, the way to kill never leaves a person, it shall always be my purpose, my purpose to prove my existence…**_

_**As I watch her stilled body that burning sensation arises again, what is this liquid, is this blood? Can blood be as transparent as this?**_

Tears…raindrops, teardrops of memories. Blood is not transparent. Red. There was only pink…her hair, her tightly shut eyes, the tears that fell about her face. There was only pink, there was no red.

It loosened. She stilled. Unsure of…Sakura you were, alive? Sakura I….I didn't kill you.

"-e you even listening to me?! GAARA!"

"Naruto."

"What do you want you-"

"Where is she."

"Like **hell **will I tell you, I never want you to see her again you hear?! You've done enough, as if it wasn't enough that _teme_…Gaara?! GAARA!"

I could hear his shouting as the receiver of the phone hung loose about the table, the cord dangling in an endless hope to find steadiness. Never in my life had I rushed to a place, with absolutely no care to stay composed.

Eyes wide, hair on end, the sand being manipulated to transport me to where I _know_ she is waiting.

For me…

Every time I sleep…I dream, I dream a nightmare. As I arrive, the day is long, the night even longer, the nightmare can blend with reality. As I arrive, she's there, tear stained cheeks, red eyes rubbed far too hard and for far too long. Is this a dream?

The skies darken, and she stands, her hands stretched out. Any moment now, it will transform, she will scream out, she will cry out, excruciating pain with encompass her as I kill her…nightmares. Every time I sleep, these nightmares are of how I killed her.

Her arms are still outstretched, waiting, waiting for me.

"Sa…Sakura."

She smiles.

Is this a dream?

"Gaara." she healed them, whatever bruises there may have been, she healed them. The medic-nin that I have come to love…have come to…

Her smiles falters, the line of my face grows grim. She has not yet given up on him.

It's in her eyes. He's still apart of her.

Her hands drop.

My sand picks up.

Is this a dream?

She turns her back to me, her hair flowing with the nighttime breeze, do you remember that night Sakura? That night you sat on the rooftop with me? That night you called me Panda-chan…do you remember Sakura? Do you remember how much I loved you?

_Love_…

You.

Now that I sleep, without you, will I ever dream again of your smile?

"Gaara…please, forgive me."

"Why?"

She turns, her hair flies with the brisk action, and her shoulders deflate after taking its shocked stance. Her every muscle, her every action, every move alerts me, she is magnificent in all she does.

"I am sorry because…because…"

She misunderstands.

"Why did you do it." recognition crosses her face, no excuses, no lies, the truth. You had me, you had _me!_ So why, why did you…was I not enough? Will I ever be enough?

Can I ever be loved?

Mother…am I able to be-

"I loved him Gaara…Gaara I…"

This is not a dream.

This is a nightmare….the worst of them all, when the nightmare is the life you are living.

I turn, I've heard enough.

"_Loved_…Gaara, **Loved!** PLEASE!" I stop. "know that….know that I- **Gaara-_Gaara_** I LOVE _YOU_!" her hands are shaking cold. Her body is visibly reacting to the declaration, her knees crumbling to the ground.

Could this be the night where we lose ourselves completely? The night when our lives end.

"I told you Sakura Haruno, that I Sabaku No Gaara, never… wanted you to begin with."

She cries.

Such a night that would leave us to deceiving…all the pain held-

"Gaara…."

I never use to sleep…until I met her, I never knew the concept of dreams…until I met her, I never knew…

"I…love you."

Love.

"You can only love one."

The sand wastes no time to retrieve me before I do something I would regret.

Mother…would I have really regret loving her again?

* * *

She's alone until a blonde haired, whiskered face, compassionate blue eyed boy finds her and brings her home with him. He tucks her shaken form in and kisses her forehead, as to which she does no object to. She brings her hands up and grips his firm, calloused hands, he's not shocked.

"Stay."

He complies and climbs into the bed with her and merely sighs as she starts mumbling incoherent apologies, excuses, reasons as to what happened and why.

'Sasuke, Gaara, rain, regret, love, loved, hate, trust, betrayal, Sasuke-Sasuke-Sasuke, Gaara…in-love…' She's sorry, he knows this. She could never love him as he had always wanted,-knew this back when she was in love with the _teme_, and now there was absolutely no chance.

She was in love with Gaara.

She was...

Shifting her form slightly so he can embrace her as she tries to sleep, he wipes a tear from her face before placing his hand gently upon her swelling abdomen. Soon enough he won't be able to embrace her this easily, this tightly and fully anymore.

Exhausted, slowly he closes his eyes in vain as, she too, tries to dream of a place where reality wasn't such a nightmare.

**I used lyrics from a song somewhere in this chapter, a bit tweaked, but try and find it .**


	7. Gaara: When awake

**Due to threats I have decided to update.**

**This is for you HPBabe91, My sister :hugs:**

**Disclaimer: you know the drill.**

"_Stay."_

_He complies and climbs into the bed with her and merely sighs as she starts mumbling incoherent apologies, excuses, reasons as to what happened and why._

'_Sasuke, Gaara, rain, regret, love, loved, hate, trust, betrayal, Sasuke-Sasuke-Sasuke, Gaara…in-love…' She's sorry, he knows this. She could never love him as he had always wanted,-knew this back when she was in love with the teme, and now there was absolutely no chance._

_She was in love with Gaara. _

_Shifting her form slightly so he can embrace her as she tries to sleep, he wipes a tear from her face before placing his hand gently upon her swelling abdomen. Soon enough he won't be able to embrace her this easily, this tightly and fully anymore. _

_Exhausted, slowly he closes his eyes in vain as, she too, tries to dream of a place where reality wasn't such a nightmare. _

_X_

How many days has it been?

How…many months…? Months since I've last saw her, last saw her tears, last felt…so much pain.

I merely do not exist anymore. I am dead inside. I do not dream anymore, do not sleep anymore.

I do not _feel_ anymore.

_Sometimes I don't sleep, but when I sleep I dream._

…_And sometimes when I'm awake I dream, I dream a daydream._

What are these hallucinations…her walking to me, her smile, her arms outstretched. She's accepting, and so am I as I fall, fall into her, fall with her.

Mother…Why is this happening to **_me?! _**

Four months…I am a missing Nin by classification amongst the villages.

Not seen, nor heard, not welcomed anywhere…

Did I ever really have a home to go back to?

The forest provides shelter, a forest that connects with a sandy trail that blazes with fire, my home. The sand is my home, my protection my shelter, my fortress.

_Four Months_, four months of eating roasted bugs…drinking watery dew from trees or when the rain occasionally comes…Four months of _this._

I am dead inside.

_When I daydream…It's not Gaara I daydream of…_

A punch to the ground, an eruption beneath, blood trickling down, how can I ever hope to sleep when even reality haunts me and brings me back to those images…images of her, images of what could have been her and _him._

Her and…_me._

I never use to sleep…but when I did I dreamt a dream.

I dreamt a nightmare.

And when awake…

"_**I loved him Gaara…Gaara I…"**_

When awake I…

"**Loved_…Gaara, Loved! PLEASE!…know that….know that I- Gaara-Gaara I LOVE YOU!"_**

_I…_

"**You can only love one person."**

That one person….

Was You.

_**X**_

"Sakura-Chan…are you sure?" She smiles in response, her pink locks are held back within a ribbon, it's ponytail flowing behind her, a box in her hand.

"The only way ne?"

His usual smile is nowhere to be found as he gently removes the kunoichi's hold on the box. He begs her to sit down, to rest her back, surely that much increasing weight must be tough on her.

The only way to rid of the memories...those painful memories.

Throw away everything.

"So I was thinking! You should name him Naruto!"

He smiles, it's all he could do for her.

"Eh?" She quirks her head to the side before glaring. "And what if it's a girl you baka!"

"Nah...I have a knack for these things, it's going to be a boy! And you're going to name him Naruto!" She laughs light heartedly and shakes her head.

"You're so dumb. Tell me, when have you done this before?" He closes his eyes and scrunches up his nose, his finger grinding against his chin pensively.

"Too much thinking can kill ya yanno…" she drawls, shifting within her seat to become more comfortable, the belly in her way.

"Aiyeeee! Really?! Thank god I don't do it often eh Sakura-chan?" She laughs at this and Naruto stares at her blankly for a minute before smiling warmly. "Here, Here, Let's go out and get ramen, I'm starved!! And you are always hungry!"

"Watch it…I'm twice as strong than I usually am you know." Backing away, his hands in the air on the defense he smiles cautiously.

"Eh…heh….yeah, yeah no worries Sakura I'll pay!"

"Good!" she jumps off and skips (to the best of her ability considering her circumstance) out the front door, Naruto frowning as he looks inside his frog wallet.

"Not gooood…"

_**X**_

"Are you sure?" A nod is his answer. "Well then, what do you wish to do…or more importantly what do you wish for _me_ to do." His eyes lower in a bored expression.

"Simple. Kankuro will accompany you, and you can take whomever you like with you, no more than two extra persons, retrieve him and bring him back to the safety of his village."

"…Hmmm.."

"It's an order Kakashi, and you know not to disobey a direct order."

"Un-huh…whelp, how long till departure?" He opens his Icha Icha book and re-reads a certain line, restraining a giggle.

"….Kakashi." He looks up and shrugs.

"Sai and Naruto."

"What?"

"The other two whom will accompany me."

"Hmm…and what of Sakura?" He looks at her slowly before looking out the window and sighing, Tsunade-Shishou knows more than she leads on.

"You can add an extra person to the team."

"No thanks. I think I'll be fine...see ya." A poof of smoke stops the Leaf Village's Hokage from continuing her shout to stop the aloof Nin, this is followed by an abundance of cursing.

"If you do take her…be careful Kakashi…there's only so many times that girl's heart can be broken."

**X**

"That was the BEST Ramen ever!!!!"

Strangely it isn't Naruto saying this, he on the other hand is staring warily upon his 'date', inching away ever so slowly.

"I want more! Naruto…do you think I should try Miso this time??" She smiles brightly, holding up her bowl to get Ayame's attention.

"Demo-Sakura-Chan…I don't really think-"

"Yes?"

"Hehehe…fill 'em up!" Ayame smiles and goes about the order, Naruto sighing at how the prospect of how fast his money is draining.

"There goes this month's rent…"

"You can move in with me."

"…eh?!!" One would never think Naruto would fully place his ramen bowl down, but today, he did.

"Here ya go…" Not even a second after the bowl was placed Sakura started to dig in, the liquid form of the ramen spreading everywhere, even upon Naruto's face, but this didn't disturb the young Kyuubi Vessel; still staring at Sakura, he inched closer and asked her to clarify.

"You can live with me. It'll help both of us."

"…but Sakura-san I-Eep!" The exclamation caused by the sudden slam of her bowl, she turns to him seriously, at first furious before breaking down into tears and throwing herself into Naruto's chest.

He encompasses her instantly, no questions asked. Mood Swings, Pregnancy, it goes hand in hand. Plus it's Sakura…so that is definitely multiplied.

Her tears subside after some while, and she loosens her insane grip upon him, she doesn't move from her position, needing the comfort. "You won't have to pay rent…and I need someone there, in case...in case…"

"Shhh…I know, I'd love to move in with you Sakura-chan."

She pulls back, he wipes remaining tears, and she swats his hand playfully. "Thank you Naruto…" He nods and he moves to get up, paying up the bill with his last cent.

"Hey why don't we start the moving now, unless you are tired, do you wanna take a nap?" She shakes her head.

"I wanna train!" He falls down.

"Eh…Sakura-chan…" he points towards her belly.

"Oh…right." She gets up as well now, and moves towards the direction of her home. "Come on, I think I will take that nap. You can sleep out in the hallway of my bedroom."

_I open my door cautiously and peek out- "Go to sleep." I pouted and cracked the door open wider to present my full frame to the dark rimmed eyes. " I can't."_

"_I've rubbed off on you."_

"I mean…I-" she looks towards him awkwardly, sadly. He doesn't have red hair, he doesn't have green eyes, he doesn't have _his_ smile. A smile only for her.

"I don't mind the floor of the hallway Sakura."

A Pause.

"…I do."

_**X**_

"Why am I being picked for this? Get some other guy to do it, I'm busy training for _real _missions, why in the hell would I want to retrieve some lame ass Kazekage whom ran away from it all? Not my problem at all Kakashi."

"You will do as you are asked of Sai. This isn't just some mission…it's more a favor."

"And what has that Kazekage…_ex-_Kazekage, Gaara, done for me?"

"It's a favor for Sakura."

His onyx eyes widen for a fraction of a second before dying back down. He spits at the ground and stretches his arms, gives a glare towards the white haired, one eyes Jounin and walks away.

"See you in the morning gates at five sharp." the boy doesn't allow him to know he acknowledges this but continues to walk.

_Damn old man probably won't even be there at five himself, Tch._

_**X**_

"She's pregnant…_Pregnant_ Kakashi-sensei!"

"Just Kakashi will do Naruto…"

"PREGNANT!"

"Shhhh….you're going to wake her up…" The blonde stomps his foot and walks further down the hallway of the nearly vacant home. "Naruto…she's coming."

"Are you serious? She can't go! Especially not to…retrieve _him!_"

"She's going. It's been decided."

"She can't go!"

"She _has_ to go!"

"…" Naruto's shoulders slump. "When...do we leave?"

"Four hours from now." He's gone, just like that. No protest could be made as the blonde haired boy trudges back into the room. The one side of the bed still crumpled up from when he got up, her side still perfectly intact as she rests on her back, the covers upon her extended upward due to her belly.

"Sakura…you can't go. I won't let you get hurt anymore. I promise." He lays back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, she moans softly yet he doesn't turn.

"Gaa…ra."

He thinks once more, she shouldn't go. She shouldn't.

"...Bastard…"

_X_

How can one dream while awake, how can one feel so much pain in one lifetime? How can she be here…yet I know she isn't.

Why do I continue to survive?

The shadows are extending now, figures appear as I raise my hand, the gourd on my back popping open…the fatigue, I am slow, I am weak. I have always been weak…Naruto Uzumaki, you told me once. You are only truly strong when you have someone to fight for.

Someone to fight for…someone to love.

_Sakura._

I have no one to fight for.

Yet I continue to fight.

Mother…why?

"Kazekage-sama, do not attack!" My hands stiffen, the voice of that Jounin…

"We have come for you, to bring you back to your village. Your village needs you."

"Gaara, it's me." Kankuro? How could you betray me…you lead them here…

Traitor.

"Gaara, Temari and I have been worried about you ever since you left, but we knew you were still alive, we recently found you by chance when a messenger from the Sand Village spotted your particular sand."

"Get away from here Kankuro…Get away…ALL OF YOU!" All have to do is close my hand, the sand has reached them, the tips of their toes, on the soles of their feet, they're not moving, I can take them, I can kill them, I can be what I have always been, a monster, I just have to close…

I never use to sleep…but when I did I dreamt a dream.

I dreamt a nightmare.

And when awake…

I daydream of her…her coming towards me, her holding me, kissing me, loving me.

Me…watching her…

… reaching out to her….

_So Close_

….Grasping her….

_Just a little bit further_

….Holding her….

_Let Go_

…Her disappearing…

**breakdown.**

"Gaara…"

Her stomach. Is she…I can feel my eyes, I can feel them burn, my lips forming into a grim line, my fists, they are closing.

"JUMP BACK!" The Jounin picks her up and dodges the sand barely, the other three, Kankuro, Naruto…and the male that looks like…_him._

"DIE!!!!!"

_Sasuke Uchiha._

"What the hell?!" He can't evade it for long, go from behind, take him out from behind, destroy him from behind, a stab from behind, like how she stabbed me.

"Gaara! STOP!!"

"Brother!!"

"Sai!!!" she jumps out of her sensei's grips. His hands so close to catching her, just missing. She's running towards him.

""Sakura!!!"" He turns to look at her, compassion in his yes, compassion held only for her, the way _he_ looked at her on the night that they…

That compassion is his downfall. Never forget about your enemy.

"SAND BURIAL!!"

It happens too fast…it always happens too fast…

Tell me this is a dream.

Tell me this is a dream.

"CHIDORI!!"

Tell me this is…

"Gaara…"

_Her coming towards me, her holding me, kissing me, loving me. _

"Sakura-chan!"

"I'm fine… let me GO!!! I'll be fine! Gaara-GAARA!"

"You stupid girl! Stay Back! Why did you-"

"…No..."

_I couldn't hurt her…I never could hurt her._

_Her tears…_

_Are they for me?_

"He couldn't…hurt you…" _his realization is too late…he just wanted to protect her, like I would have…so he…_

"Don't die…"

_Is this what death feels like?_

"Don't…"

_Sakura..._

"God….You can't! You CAN'T!-

_She holds her belly…is that…mine? Was I going to be… Was I going to be?_

"Sakura-chan…"

"…."

_A Father?_

"….Gaara…"

_Sakura…I think I'll sleep now._

_Will you join me...?_

**:hides:**

**Um…There's still two chapters left? I don't know, this is SUCH a crack fic. I really just don't like this chapter at all, there wasn't enough Gaara POV in my opinion, but I wanted to give some substance on how the others were doing…kind of.**

**Next chapter: coughSasukewillbeappearingcough**


	8. Gaara: What I see is not real

**So like FFnet, keeps breaking down. Of course my friends feel to blame me as the perpetrator of such events, but we won't discuss that, yay for an update! I know everyone is probably going to be pissed but…I don't know. I've already stated that this is such a crack fic, although I love it all the same.**

**I guess all that there's left to say is I love you HpBabe91, Sasuke-Sakura-14, Kunoichi Sabaku no Gaara, Love of Midoriko and Artemis 85. You guys rock my world.**

**Oh! And if you can, I am in the midst of writing a SasuSaku. :gasp: Like you didn't see it coming, it's entitled: ****When the wind stops.**** I only have one chapter up, but encouragement is always appreciated, and sometimes **_**needed.**_** As in this case. So please, if you the time to spare, read and review. :hugs:**

**Disclaimer: Baka.**

**X**

_Is this what death feels like?_

"Don't…"

_Sakura..._

"God….You can't! You CAN'T!

_She holds her belly…is that…mine? Was I going to be… Was I going to be?_

"Sakura-chan…"

"…."

_A Father?_

"….Gaara…"

_Sakura…I think I'll sleep now._

**X**

_**Beep…**_

"_Kakashi…wh-why…?!"_

_**Beep…**_

"…_It wasn't me…"_

…_**Beep…**_

"_What do you-"_

…_**Beep…**_

"_Sas…Sasuke!!"_

…_**Beep**_

Back when…back when Shukaku was inside of me, the only time I slept was when I was a spirit medium, a being in a state of unconsciousness so as for him to channel all his energy and be unstoppable. To destroy, to kill.

This state of unconsciousness is unlike any other.

"_There has to be something we can do!!"_

In this state…I…

"_I am sorry Ms. Uzumaki…please, come this way."_

In this state, I can no longer willingly wake up.

_**Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not.**_

_**Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted.**_

Can one really speak, really be conscious as they are presumably unconscious?

I wonder…Mother... I wonder, how am I able to see her, to feel her presence, if I am, right now, lying on my death bed. In a white covered hospital wing, awaiting death through a…coma.

They struck me good.

I wish I could pretend what happened, didn't really happen at all…

For I know… she is not beside me as I die slowly.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A body lays still on the floor, the shaggy red hair showing resemblance to the liquid flowing freely and encompassing the motionless body. A pink petal haired girl wallows in sorrow upon his form, a blonde, a black, and a silver haired group of males bunched in the corner, their eyes showing remorse for what transpired.

It doesn't occur to them that they should be on defense.

With a clutch of his shirt, she glares down with resistance, places her hands over his body and heals what she can.

Chakra almost depleted, her body shaking, her swollen belly heaving up and down, the blonde haired, whiskered face boy places a hand on her shoulder in comfort. He still has not awaken.

"Sakura…"

"No! He'll wake up, any minute now!!! Just you see Naruto- He'll wake up." She laughs. She laughs a bitter laugh. "Naruto, you fool…you know Gaara hates to sleep…" She removes her right hand placed desperately about his chest and just as so pulls some hair out of his blood covered face.

"…why…"

No response. Her free hand clutches her abdomen.

"Kakashi…wh-why…?!"

A beat.

"…It wasn't me…"

Her eyes widen. As does Naruto's and Sai's. Quickly they take to defense, in denial, the slowly diminishing Sakura continues, trying to be ignorant to the fact of the possibility of who could have caused this.

How could they not see? How could they not have stopped…?

"What do you-" The wind blows briefly. A presence has emerged.

"Sas…Sasuke!!!"

"Teme!!" A hand halts him in his tracks, to which Naruto glares at his teacher for doing so. Sasuke is standing opposite of Sakura's crumpled form. Staring down at her above his nose. He's just as she remembers him, only with a look of possessiveness she has never seen before. Her hand clutches her belly a little tighter, and his eyebrow rises as though it had finally found what it was looking for.

" _I know…that I love you, and you…Sasuke-kun…"_

He smirks.

"_You love me to."_

In an instant, as he squats down a breeze passes by them due to the action, a shout from Naruto and defensive stance by Sai, Sasuke sees no threat. His obsidian eyes glance briefly at Gaara, for an instant, she believes him to feel sorry, regretful.

It was a trick of the light.

"Get up."

"No." He tilts his head upward slightly, his chin showing defiance and strength. He looks down at her again before looking back at the crowd.

"Kakashi. Naruto." He disregards Kankuro's and Sai's forms altogether.

"Whaddaya doing here eh?!! Get away form them!! What did you do to him- look at him! He's not moving!!!" He is about to move again but Kakashi holds him still and answers on behalf of Sasuke.

"He's still breathing. The damage wasn't…fatal. Why?"

He doesn't answer his teacher and merely looks back at Sakura.

"I had no use for him. Whether he lives or dies. My intent wasn't to kill him. Merely protect what's mine."

In a shriek like manner, a jump to follow, Naruto is instantly in front of Sakura and Gaara's barely alive form. "Sakura? You want Sakura?! You can't! I won't allow you to get anywhere near her! You've done enough-"

"And so have you."

"NARU-" she screams, but it's too late.

A flick of the wrist and the unsuspecting boy is tossed across the forest fortress. Three trees are cut right through, his body flung so hard that the trees held no support to stop his form. Sai doesn't contemplate his actions as he rushes in; he would have been killed if Kakashi had not used a jutsu to have the woodland from the area play as a shield, protecting his form from the fire that was emitted from Sasuke's body with not even so much of a visible hand sign.

Naruto's ragged form comes back, growling, ready to pounce again. Kankuro, in fear of his brother's life tries to conjure up his puppets to try and get him out of the vicinity of what he deems to be, _now_, the true madman.

One Sasuke Uchiha.

"You are mistaken." All this time, she had been clutching on to Gaara. His dark eyebrows scrunch together in fury. No longer would she waste time thinking of the fool that lay unconscious before him, Sasuke muses.

"I came for what's mine…" He merely nods at Sakura's shaken form. Kakashi's eye dilate, the realization of the implication, the possibility of the fact finally unraveling.

"My heir."

Her head shoots up and not a moment too soon she is forcefully pulled to a stand, ripped from Gaara's cloth as pieces are shredded from her grip, wrapped tight in his arm. Naruto runs to them but the genjutsu placed by the raven haired man proves to dissuade him in his chase. Kakashi, countering the attack, steps through the illusion easily enough only to grasp onto Sakura's arm in time.

She doesn't acknowledge the grasp on her arm, doesn't deter from her aimless sight upon the ever-changing ground, the illustrious lighting as the genjutsu deteriorates. She doesn't even writhe in pain as Sasuke holds on to her pregnant form, just…a bit…tighter.

She's not even crying.

"Don't…do this." His voice grave, deep and throaty, pleading. There would be no going back. He would be in charge of two other lives, with Orochimaru, with Itachi…with the _danger._ How could he possibly put Sakura through all that risk?

He smirks once more before disappearing in a circumference of fire. Once it diminishes all that is left is a coma induced body with a lamenting brother clutching onto its' form in a pathetic attempt to awaken him. To their right, a furious and grief stricken Naruto, and a seemingly stoic Sai, whom all in all, hates himself for not being able to protect two people in one day.

Kakashi stands there idly for a few brief seconds.

"No time to waste. Carry Gaara. We go to the hospital. NOW!"

Dashing off, Naruto isn't the only one that looks back.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Hey Panda-chan?"

"Hmm…"

"I was thinking…"

"…"

"Hellooooo"

"What you insufferable woman."

"Hehe…so _mean_, Gaara. I was just wondering…"

"Out with it."

"Even after it stops raining, the wind continues to blow."

He turns to look at her, somehow, although the two are away from the village hidden in the sand, _his_ village, where he reigns ruler of all, and he possibly couldn't be any close to her, his hands wrapped firmly about her waist, his chin content on top of her head, he has never felt further away from her since their friendship.

"Even…after you stop crying, the pain continues to hurt."

He closes his eyes, soft breathing reflects upon her hair, ruffling it lightly as, she too, sighs and relaxes her back completely and delves into his sturdy chest.

"Isn't life sad?" he grunts his response. "Every time you look at me it hurts Gaara." His hands once encircled about her form slowly unravel. It deflates in sadness. She doesn't give reason for him to cease worrying.

She fakes a laugh before turning to him, the sun is fading, as all else seems to be doing.

"Why does a heart hurt?" She raises her fingertips slowly, her sakura blossom hair swaying with the sun setting breeze. "Why…when I look at you, does _my _heart hurt?" He grabs her fingers tightly, desperately, as he places his cheek against it, rubbing it softly. She places her forehead against him, for support. For something more than support.

He opens his eyes in unison with Sakura's. "It doesn't hurt this time, why? You're looking at me...so why? Why not now?"

Their fingers slip away from one another, through one another, and no longer are they leaning on one another for support.

Simply because, they _can't._

She cries as he looks on upon her fading form.

All but a memory.

_Sometimes I want to pretend what is real, is not._

**I wish I could pretend what happened, didn't really happen at all…**

_**Gaara...**_

_Sometimes I hallucinate and my perception becomes distorted._

**At times, what I see, isn't really there at all, nothing but a fading dream…**

He reaches out but she is too far gone by now. Slowly the sky darkens, he is still sitting there, waiting…waiting…

Waiting.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Hey Gaara, can you hear me?"

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Gaara…you got to wake up man, your village needs you, _Sakura_ needs you…please tell me you can hear me."

Naruto? Is that you? There's a…beeping noise. And it smells of medicine. Of food…that I'm not particularly fond of…

"Gaara…I don't want to go it alone. C'mon buddy, I know that you would go after her if you could…you just gotta."

What are you talking about…? Why…Why can't I open my eyes? Where is Sakura, the last thing…the last thing I remember is _him._

Was it really him?

Sakura had stepped in front of him, to stop my attack. I stopped. But that wasn't him, she screamed out a name…

"_Sai!!!!"_

It wasn't him. In my…perception, my distorted perception, my _hallucination_. I thought it was him, I tried to _kill_ him.

Sakura…but you jumped in, I couldn't hurt you…I couldn't…

"_He couldn't…hurt you…"_

Who was that…The one who, she was crying. The one who struck through me. Sakura was crying. I felt so much blood…so cold. So very cold…

"Gaara. The bastard. He took her…He took her!!"

Who? Who took her? Sakura…who took her?!!

The noises are getting louder. It's still so dark. I can't open my eyes.

"Gaara…?!" concern laces his voice, what is…this pain?

I hear fading voices, my heart, it's beating…faster, faster, faster.

"What's going on in here?! You, Mr. Uzumaki, leave the room immediately, someone prep. the emergency stretcher! Some_one…_"

I can't hear anymore, I can feel though, my body moving...I could feel though, her hand holding mine...

I have to wake up, I have to fight it, I have to find her, I have to save her.

Even if the child isn't mine.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Naruto…"

"I'm going."

"I wasn't going to stop you."

The blonde turns to his former sensei and smiles flaccidly. "I'll bring _both_ them back." Kakashi nods before closing his eye in a wrinkly fashion and pointing with his book to his stomach region.

"Ah! Right, right, there are three!!" He vowed, when they found out, he vowed he would be there for her…what ever happened, he would be there…they were now of proper age. Somewhat. Five years since that _blessed _event that changed all their lives. Seventeen was the new Twenty-one.

Slowly, muttering to himself, a promise that might not just be fulfilled. "Don't worry Sakura-chan, I'll save you, you and that teme…"

Kakashi looks on.

There's nothing he could do to stop the cogs of fate.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Why….are you doing this."

What wonderful symmetry she thought. The place that caused all this mess. The shack they both happened to reside in on a stormy night was the same shack they stood in currently.

Across from her, as she sat on a somewhat comfortable bed, he sat on a stool, glaring at the floor as if it had done him some great injustice.

"Speak to me damn you!!!!" He looks up, mildly amused, before back to the floor. A sigh emits from his perfectly sculpted lips, his dark gaze falling about the room aimlessly as he stands up languidly.

"Annoying." He walks to her nonchalant, grips her chin, a little too rough. And kisses her.

She spits in his mouth.

"I hate you."

"That's not what you _shrieked_ a few months ago, when you were begging for me to-"

He stops, a slap being the cause for this. He doesn't slowly inch his hand up to grasp the throbbing cheek, it wasn't a light kiss upon the flesh either, she had remembered to put in an extra amount of chakra.

He simply smirks though, his custom made one.

"Won't Orochimaru be missing you?" her voice is disdainful, her composure not even close to being stable as she yearns for food, and to pee, peeing for two. On top of it all, she wants to vomit, and she wants to get away, to get away from him and back to Gaara. To Naruto, to Naruto and Sai and Kakashi and Tsunade-

"If you're hungry. Go out and get something to eat." She stops her pensive overwhelming thoughts and focuses in on his words.

"Not afraid I will run away?" He doesn't respond. "I will you know, I'll run at any chance that I get."

He smiles.

"You fu-"

He kisses her again, and this time there's no resistance. Her fighting spirit is long gone; she is drained of any and everything she once held inside her. He slowly, steadily traces his index finger down the side of her body before bringing it to her mid section and circling her belly.

He pulls away; mere inches from her lips and mutters softly. "It's mine, and I know it." Another small circle traced. "You won't run, and you know it." She whimpers softly. "You are too afraid, we both know it." Simple statements, simple and horribly true statements that eat away at her.

He pulls her up, surprisingly lightly.

"Go get food, anything you like." He reaches into his attire that somewhat resembles the sound village. "Don't stay out too long. I'll be waiting."

She doesn't hesitate to leave as his fingers linger on her skin just a little bit too long for her liking.

She couldn't possibly still love him, she tells herself.

She clutched on to her pregnant, swollen stomach. Even if this child…really. was. his.

XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"He's making a fast recovery. He should be up in no- what's this? I see increased response."

I wish I could pretend what happened, didn't really happen at all…

"I think he's waking up, Kankuro-Uh, I mean-"

"No need for formalities."

He almost killed me; I was defenseless, subdued by her cries. He took the opportunity, twice. Stuck me once, struck me again. Hit me in the heart over and over…

He hit me with his chakra based attack, an attack I could have easily defended against due to experience…and then, he took her, when I was powerless to stop him.

She went with without a fight…

"His heart beat is increasing."

"Give him a sedative."

"No, don't."

"But Sir-"

No…Sakura, even though…

_Gaara?_

Sakura. Is that you? Where are you?

_Panda-chan…get up you big oaf! Stop being lazy!!_

I want to…I really want to…

_Gaara…if I kiss you, will you wake up for me?_

…

_Geez, what a response!! Fine, humph, see if I care!_

Sakura…

…_Oh, you suck! I'm going to kiss you anyways! I need my knight in shining armor right?_

At times, what I see isn't really there at all, nothing but a fading dream…As I imagine her lips, her sweet, soft lips lightly tap my own… must I finally open my eyes? When they were closed, I could imagine, dream, hallucinate and believe that she was here…

_We all can Gaara…but it's not real…_

I know…but is it wrong to wish it to be? Don't smile at me…it makes it hurt all the more.

"I think he's coming to…"

"Prepare the oxygen mask, might have a relapse."

_Gaara…They need you._

And…you? Do you need me?

…_Well, duh!!_

Sakura…tell me, tell me you need me…No. Tell me Sakura, Tell me that you _want_ me, tell me that you _chose_ me.

_Gaara…_

Please…this pain is unbearable…

"I am worried, the heart rate went up exponentially and there are no signs of awakening, in fact it seems a forced suppression of sleep."

"What does that mean?"

"It means he is purposely in this sleep induced state..."

_Gaara…wake up._

I wish I could pretend what happened, didn't really happen at all…At times, what I see, isn't really there at all, nothing but a fading dream…Sakura, were you simply a dream that was always, and forever be, unobtainable?

_Please…just wake up…_

Not before you.

**God, and the crack just keeps going. So **_**obviously**_**. This wasn't the last chapter, and I can't believe I actually got it out on time, sort of. I know long wait for the update, but you can't blame me, FFnet was being screwy.**

**Now I really don't know…**_**how**_**, I'm going to end this, or for that matter when, rofl. don't I rock? I'm thinking about wrapping it up next chapter, equipped with an epilogue to follow, but then again, I had mind to make this the last chapter. But that would have just been too crappy for my taste.**

**So…expect more basically.**

**:sigh:**

**Much Love. And review, please**


	9. To have a heart

**Hehe…had been awhile eh? Sorry for the wait, I had to update other stories first, Like When the wind stops, and I put out a random SasuSaku drabble for all of your viewing pleasure (although many of you hate Sasuke XD) and well I couldn't bring myself to type out, what is now, the second to last chapter of this story.**

**I'll do my best to NOT make this sucky.**

**Disclaimer: you know how it works, I don't own, blah blah. :huggles Gaara plushie:**

**AN: With chapter 8, thus signified the ending of POVs on behalf of Gaara and Sakura, there was 4 to each. This is going to be semi straight-forward, but I'm weird so…yeah.**

"_I am worried, the heart rate went up exponentially and there are no signs of awakening, in fact it seems a forced suppression of sleep."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_It means he is purposely in this sleep induced state..."_

_Gaara…wake up._

_I wish I could pretend what happened, didn't really happen at all…At times, what I see, isn't really there at all, nothing but a fading dream…Sakura, were you simply a dream that was always, and forever be, unobtainable?_

_Please…just wake up…_

_Not before you.

* * *

_

She doesn't know how long she has been running, clutching onto her belly so that it doesn't feel the pain her speed is no doubt causing upon it. She doesn't know why he hasn't caught her, where he would of course, without a seconds thought, be able to.

All she does is continue to run, trying to get away from his grasp. She doesn't love him anymore, she tells herself. She needs to find him, she reminds herself. She is going to have a baby, she warns herself.

A shady, desolate little shack upon a hill is where she turns in for the night, tired from the running, hungry from lack of food and worried that _when_ he finds her, he won't be so forgiving.

Sitting upon the cool, bare floor she inhales deeply, refusing to cry. She brings her knees up as far as they could go, the heap in front of her, connected _to_ her, not allowing it to get close to her chest at all. In rage, an indiscernible feeling at best, she lays her legs to rest straight on the floor, bangs her back against the wooden wall behind her, and shuts her eyes tightly, painfully.

"Gaara…Gaara…please, I need you, please…be alright….please…" They still leak through, no matter how tightly shut her eyes are and she feels the chilling flow of the liquefied emotions of her aching heart slide down her cheek, splattering softly upon the tattered floor.

_Please…find…me._

As she thought the words, she was begging silently for the man she loved to come to her. She loved him; she knew this now more than ever. She was bearing a child, although it was not his, it was in his name. She wanted to be with him, wanted to run away from the grip of the psycho Uchiha whom kidnapped her, just to be with _him. _

"How…how did I get myself into this mess…"

"Because you are a fool." She wasn't shocked, for even before she uttered her words she had known he was there, feeling his presence, his familiar scent and chakra void of any warmth the moment he was in range.

She let out a melancholic laugh. "Sasuke."

He smirked.

"I know you know better…you knew you couldn't escape me, so why did you still bother trying?"

"For the fun of it." She wasn't in the mood to fight, to argue, to dispute about what an utter psycho he was. "Had fun chasing me?" He shrugged and moved closer to her, to her surprise, she found, he did not hover in front of her like he normally would do, but slide down next to her, cordially almost.

"Had fun running?" She wanted to snort but opted to just stay silent. "You really shouldn't be exerting yourself…not with the baby on its way." She fought back the urge to snap at him, to say that he really didn't care about it either way, but when she turned to look at him, a flicker of care in his eyes before they dulled. She wondered if he did.

"Hmm..." her hum was the only way she thought of answering and when he grimaced she decided to close her eyes and bang her head against the back wall. "You probably killed him…you've stolen my happiness…for a second time."

"You wouldn't have been happy with him."

"Who says?" She gritted out, her eyes still shut, her brows creasing.

"Me."

"You do _not_ have the authority-" his mouth was quicker then hers, she found her body fading, giving in to the overwhelming sensation of it all, she didn't want to fight…it shouldn't be this hard, it shouldn't be this hard…

"You would have been miserable." His hands were falling down from his upheld knee. He had placed it there, out of comfort, the always nonchalant attitude of his embodying some movement of coolness. They were falling down to his side now, to what little space was between him and the mother of his future child.

"Hah…miserable, you would know a lot about that, _wouldn't you_?" He scowled, resisting the urge to burn everything around him.

"You would have left before a year." She snapped her eyes wide open, turning head acutely towards his.

"I would have stayed with him for a lifetime." His hand froze momentarily, hovering about her own before continuing it's predatory like movements, trying to capture her slim hand within his own.

"He would have killed you." Anger. Resentment.

"Like _you_ are much better-" Regret.

"He doesn't love you."

"Yes…he does-" A shift in his movement, urgency. Her own body, becoming stiff, filled with boiling rage. It was consuming her, the trembling feeling of wanting to melt, to give up, she didn't know if she could fight it anymore, her responses were automatic, she didn't need to think, and they were true, weren't they? Her auto-responses, his statements were the false ones…he was trying to-

His hand was on hers now.

"_You_ don't love him."

"I-" His grip on her hardened, and she closed her eyes in response, wincing from the pain.

"You told me you loved me…"

Her eyes opened again, her body spun towards him completely, she jerked her hand away from his hold and her eyes glared venomously. Behind it though, he could see, he could _feel_, the hurt, the pain, he could see what appeared to be tears developing.

"**I **_**did!!**_" She made move to get up but he was quicker. Grabbing on to her wrist he forcefully pulled her down, when she yelped in pain he became frantic, hurdling himself on to her, the feeling of wanting to protect her, and more importantly, was what _inside_ of her, causing his moves and actions to become all too erratic for his liking.

"Stay still." He muttered against her neck.

"Get off me! Get away! Sasuke-get…off-off…" She was breaking down now; her words being strained form the cluster in her throat as she gulped loudly, holding back the tears and failing miserably. "Please…please, I don't want to do this anymore."

A lover, a loving lover would have offered soothing words or the occasional "shh" if they weren't the comforting type. A man truly in love would have just held her and with his presence alone, made her feel that everything…everything was going to be alright.

Sasuke did none of the sort.

He picked her up and carried her outside, despite her weak protests and hits to his skin, the abrasions started to develop slowly, for all in all, she was still Sakura, the kunoichi with inhuman strength.

When she looked up at him, with sleep needing eyes she had imagined that it was Gaara, caring her to bed, coming under the sheets to cuddle with her and lure her to sleep. A sleep of tranquility and beautiful dreams, a sleep where he protectively held his arm around her waist and in the morning, groaned when she had to get up from work.

She envisioned, as Sasuke looked down at her, with his cloudy eyes, his unreadable expression, how perfect it would be, to have _Gaara_ as the father of this baby…this baby that held no blood of his. It would make up for his past…he could learn to love another, one whom would not betray him as she did.

She didn't know where it began, and when it ended. She didn't feel the change of movements as he rested her limp form on some miscellaneous place. She didn't see, as her eyes slept and her body mourned for the trauma it's been through, as Sasuke's gaze lingered on her form for awhile, before leaving to confront the one obstacle left in his way.

She had no idea that the two men in her life, were about to clash for the final time.

_Gaara…please, wake up…

* * *

_

Piercing Jade eyes awoke with a fright, a fright that was all too soon confirmed. She was no where near him. In his dreams, in his unconscious state she had been right there, in his grips, and now, in reality she was miles away.

He wanted to go back to that place where she was with him.

The night air lingered throughout the hospital bedroom, the street lights flickered and he instantly knew he was in Konoha. The previous events before he succumbed to the state he had just awoken from were foggy, but he got the jist of it as he held a palm to his forehead in pain.

He lost the girl.

For good.

He made way to swing his legs over on the side, stopping half-way due to the striking pain that reeled its way up his body. Only when the whooshing sound of the wind, causing the curtains to flow close to his bed was when he became alive again, refusing to give in to a few minor aches and bruises.

For it was more than just the wind, and it was not the wind that whispered his name in malice.

He did not have to look up to know who possessed the deep, rich, yet hatred bound voice. The last Uchiha was more than willing to show his presence in the following moments anyways, stepping clear next to the bed, his hand pressed firmly around the railing at the end of the it.

"Where's Sakura…" Even in his tired form, he still held resistance in his voice, the need to know that she was alright creating a sheer will to continue on awake, despite the thread of dealing with the consequences of not acquiring adequate sleep or rest.

"She's safe." A nod. "Which is more than I can say for you." A smirk from the teller, a sigh from the recipient. "Get up."

"You have horrible timing…bastard." Sasuke moved barely an inch and Gaara's sand reacted, place a small shield around the top part of the bed, where Gaara's torso lay. "I'll ask again…where's…Sakura."

The Uchiha's smirk grew wider. "I don't believe you are in any position to demand anything from me..._demon._" Gaara's head snapped towards him, rage embellishing its way around his form.

"You better be careful…"

"Hn." He moved again, and this time, Gaara's sand wasn't quick enough, the grains of it fell lifelessly to the floor as Sasuke's hand wrapped tightly around Gaara's throat. "You _won't_ be able to protect her like I can, _neither_ of them." His voice lowered, menacing yet soft.

Pride. It was all about Pride.

"It's my child…_you _know _this_, Why bother?" The smirk was evident in his voice even though Gaara's face was still directed forward, not daring to move, only listening.

"She doesn't love you. She's never loved you. She's never stopped loving _me._" Eyes widening, Sasuke jumped back when sand attempted to encase itself around his body, upon failing it still went after him, engulfing the entire room within seconds.

A quick fire jutsu provided an escape from the room (and the entire wing for that matter as it was nearly decimated in the sand attacks), Sasuke jumping out into the cool air, Gaara's slumped form following after.

His scowl was evident as the flames burning through the opening highlighted his handsome face, upon seeing the infuriated man he almost felt fear run pass him, but held his ground. His red hair and jade dark eyes danced along with the flames, mocking the Uchiha. He prepared an attack.

"I won't let anything get in the way…" His breath was low, a mantra to himself of sorts. Determination to be done with what he was set on. Quickly, his speed blinding, he circled the Sand Ninja. "I WON'T LET YOU GET IN MY WAY!"

Numerous punches on all four sides, kicks, jabs, anything to penetrate Gaara's defense, that was, unfortunately, after awhile, infiltrated. It was at this moment, that Orochimaru's training came in handy. Using a technique similar to the aforementioned man's attacks, Hidden Shadow Snake Hand, Sasuke set forth to allowing snakes from under his sleeves to latch on to Gaara's form.

In the blurry haze of it all, Gaara had struck back instantly, using his Ultimate Absolute Attack: Shukaku's Halberd, gathering all the material, the debris from the broken wall within the hospital, the nearby inanimate objects in the desolate area, to form his attack at the unsuspecting Uchiha.

As the obsidian eyed male saw the attack coming as clear as day, the claw-halberd like attack, despite Gaara no longer possessing Shukaku, still resembling that of the one-tailed demon, there was hesitation in his step.

He knew not why.

"DIE!!!!"

Sasuke moved his hands quickly, making a jutsu to block the attack, his movements seemed to be too slow for the attack sure to ensue. The bloodthirsty rage filled with Gaara, there wasn't a second thought or reluctance on his part in stopping his attack. All he had to do was kill this man, kill him and all his troubles would be over.

Just…kill…him.

Just…do it…

Gaara…

All I have to do is….

Gaara…please…

"AHHH!!!!!!!"

DON'T!!!

His form went limp.

The blow was deafening, Ninja were now forming, putting an end to any possibility for further damage. Although the damage had already been done. Kakashi watched the scene with a lazy, concerned eye. Sakura was no where in sight, and now he had two unconscious boys in his sights.

One or both probably dead.

"Get them both inside to the medical emergency unit!!" Oh how he wished Sakura was here this very moment, Tsunade was but one woman. In the midst of the night, he really couldn't tell with all the blood splattered, if either one was breathing. An Anbu member laid a hand on his shoulder, he whispers…

"We've found her."

He doesn't visibly react, the relief that swarms through him is hidden, like half of his face, done to conceal what _must_ be concealed. "Where." It's not a question, it's a demand.

"Not too far from the village. Location is-" Medics pass them by, causing commotion, the location is relayed and by the time the medics are all gone, so is Kakashi.

It doesn't take long at all to reach her, to reach the Uchiha District. It's dark and would seem vacant if not for the small sniffles that rung throughout the large particular home that belonged to Sasuke alone, back then, when he wasn't a traitor.

She is sleeping he notes, walking up to her fragile form, her belly large and long overdue for birth. A picture is beside her, a picture of the old Team 7. The very same picture that no doubt Sasuke had placed face down the day he left Konoha. She held on to it tightly, even within her sleep, she refused to part with it as Kakashi tried to cup her up into her arms.

"Sakura…"

"…Gaa…" She murmurs softly. He sighs, thinking about the non responding forms of the teenagers the Anbu and medical core picked up all too recently. Apparently, as Gaara was unleashing his attack upon Sasuke, Sasuke had planted…to Kakashi's disgust, what seemed like snakes upon the red haired boy's form, keeping him immobilized while poisoning him, draining blood from Gaara until here seemed to be virtually none left.

He picked her up appropriately, carefully, and sauntered out of the room to the best of his abilities, trying to be cool, calm and collected. Not wanting to ring panic to the sleeping girl's form.

"Gaara…please….wake _up._" He never once looked down at the mumbling girl. Wishing she could stay asleep forever, never having to wake up to the harsh reality that awaited her. For now, he was content, she was safe in his arms. He felt that he had failed her, allowing her to get mixed up in…all of this, to go through so much pain…he never did a thing to stop it.

At first he paid no mind to her squirming form, just regarding it as discomfort within a nightmare, within her pregnancy even. He hardly would have believed that he was right within the latter of his guess. When he last saw her, within the confrontation of the missing Kazekage-Gaara, and the reappearance of Sasuke, thus ending in the kidnapping of Sakura _by_ Sasuke, she was only four months pregnant.

Now…well, she was much more far along.

They had searched, and Sasuke had made sure to keep their hiding place-their new _residence_ well kept from anyone's knowledge. Gaara had been in a suspended sleep, Naruto had been eating less, the Hokage, Tsunade, had drank and gambled a lot more than she had done so before when Sakura was under her tutelage.

Kakashi had barely read his books.

Four…going on five moths? Was it that long? She was more than ready for…

He looked down about her horror stricken face. A convulsion of pain evident. He wanted to sit her down but Konoha was just a little bit further…

Her scream jolted him into action, speeding up faster than he had been previously doing so, careful to not move fast to wake her. Now she was clearly awake, burying her head into his chest, clawing at his shoulders and arms, his torso, anything she could grip on to.

"**_aaaaaahhhh_**-oh god, oh god…**_oh, GOD!_**" Finally reaching the clearing, a shout, an order from afar, a jounin ran on ahead to warn the medical team ahead of the oncoming patient. Preparations were on their way when Kakashi burst through the doors.

"Please step back Kakashi-" He looked down at himself once they tore the girl from his protective grip. He was wet.

"Move it people her water's already broken!" They faded away quickly, Kakashi standing there wordless, motionless as they brought her into the room to what seemed to be prepared for a very hard labor before actual birth.

Opposite within the hall, two rooms were just as filled, Tsunade attending currently to the Kazekage, his diplomatic needs in higher demand than a missing-nin traitor of the village. The medics still worked on the Uchiha, an oxygen mask placed on his scarred face, breathing life into his seemingly lifeless form.

Tsunade held her hands over the major abrasions, gashes and openings where the snakes were sure to have cut into Gaara. Her face concentrated and hard, apparently void of any telling of the outcome. Yet, it was evident she knew that it could go either way.

The nurses patted the sweat upon Sakura's face, a doctor and a midwife attending to Sakura's disposition, opening up her legs, with much reluctance on her part as she kicked and screamed. She was so young…it showed on their faces the sympathy they held for her.

"Get the morphine." the doctor's voice was evaporating, drowning out to the sounds of the screaming Sakura, her back hitting against the comfort of the bed multiple times, her hair sticking to her face. They had ripped off most of her bottom layered clothing, revealing her lower parts openly, the only cover been a slip of hospital sheet paper to cover what little could be covered as they prepared for the baby.

As she bawled her fists, one even slamming so hard against the side of the bed, breaking it inwardly, causing the nurses to step back in fear, she thought of Gaara, where was he? How was he? Was he alive? Was he watching over her?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you…

"Tsunade-Shishou…"

"Leave me." When there was no response she roared. "LEAVE ME!" scurrying out the room, the Hokage's helpers went to attempt aid elsewhere within the medical units. She was still at it, attempting to restore to that which was…unresponsive. "You can't give up, not yet, _she_ needs _you_…"

The machine beeped continuously, in a inconsistent manner alerting the staff of the fluctuating heart beat. "Maybe we should get Hokage-sama…"

"You know full well she's with the Kazekage, this boy…" Shizune looked down upon the Uchiha's handsome, rapidly depleting life. "He is a traitor. We are only obligated to do what's necessarily to sustain him, then take him into custody."

"Right…but." The smaller woman fidgeted, much younger and early into her medic years. "Isn't he…the father of Sakura's-"

"Not another word. Tell me if there is a change in her condition." She nodded and left.

As he sat there, Naruto joining him minutes after Sakura was taken in, for he was previously in the middle way of the two rooms that each occupied, at one time, dear friends of his, he stared idly ahead, not listening completely to Naruto's rants that was for sure only happening to place himself somewhat at ease.

"She's going to be fine, you see her strength, she knows how to pummel a person-kill them if necessary, won't be a problem in delivering a kid, nope! Sakura will be great! And Gaara too…and _teme_…I…he will…everything will be fine, everything will be fine!!"

The alerts went off, both Naruto and Kakashi sprang up as nurses rushed by them, Naruto a little too forcefully for his kind, snatched unto a nurse's arm and asked immediately what was wrong.

"She's hemorrhaging…Sakura-chan is-"

"Karin-san, COME!"

"-I have to go, _I'm sorry._" She was apologizing for more than one thing. Naruto's hands dangled loosely, wanting to run yet knowing there was nothing that could be done in his name.

"Class two hemorrhage, set-up a blood transfusion,** quick!!** Cardiac repression may occur, prepare the necessary-"

"Doctor! She is unresponsive, resuscitate?!" Two nurses crashed into one another, needles falling unto the floor, an indignant huff came from within the doctor on call and soon enough he took the main matters into his hands. "You imbeciles! A _girl's_ life is at risk! _Karin!_"

"Yes Doctor!"

"Results, does she have Hemophilia, Hypotension, or any other fatal risks?"

"No doctor, she was at the peak of medical condition until four months ago." he silently noted that was at the time of her abduction.

Solemnly, as the girl's blood started to drain endlessly he turned to the nurse's in the room.

"Where's that transfusion dam-_mit!!_ _Wake up!!" Falling on to her knees, her hands soaked with some blood, her fear of it getting the best of her although her will yearned for her to continue, she helplessly looked on as the unresponsive teen made no signs of improvements. "You can't leave her Gaara, Saku**-ra trusted you! She loved you! Look at what you did to her, she might die because of you!" the black haired woman screamed at the unawake dark haired boy, tears cascading down her face in fear, a nurse had passed word of Sakura's condition. ** _

"Push!!!"

"Wake-_That's it! Keep pushing!-_up…"

"…If she dies-_Just a little bit more!!-_I swear on my life…_I see a head!…_ I swear Sasuke Uchiha…"

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

_Gaara?_

_Hn..._

_What do you think about...love?_

_Hehe...you know what? Love...love is...I think...well, If someone is kind to you..__.it may not be love. If ...if someone holds you, It may not be...love. _

_Sakura..._

_Just because someone holds you doesn't mean that it's love... Just because someone is kind to you doesn't means that it's love._

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

As her head fell back rattling the wires attached to her, circulating blood within her weakened state, she stared at the white ceiling. She could faintly hear the doctor call her name, she could faintly feel the immense relief of the baby coming out. She could faintly see_ his_ smile, made only for _her_.

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

_Love...for you, I would defeat everyone. Even if it killed me in the end._

_Why die if you have someone to live for...?_

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

Kakashi looked onward to the rising sun, **_"If you do take her…be careful Kakashi…there's only so many times that girl's heart can be broken."_**

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

_Because I have a heart..._

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX_

"Gaara…"

* * *

Okay that was long. I'm be a whore right now, and totally leave it up to you guys to _decide_ who lives and who dies. The baby though is for sure, the only one that lives for certain. The others is all up to you.

So I guess you _have _to review now huh? Muhaha…I'ma genius. Sorry it was long and well, weird, I don't know. I decided to do it today because I haven't been able to see Spiderman 3 due to it being sold out. So I don't expect reviews for awhile seeing as you bastards are all probably seeing it. :broods:

Love ya all still! XD I have some major allusions-quotes-from another anime in here, feel free to point them out, I take no claim, and probably mention the quotes next chappie. I think I'll give an appreciation shout out to all my reviewers with lengthy responses in the epilogue which is the next, and last chapter as well.


	10. Now, we can finally sleep

_**Disclaimer: Never in a million years.**_

**And Thus. The Epilogue. Be forewarned, major cap.

* * *

**

The doctor with the accompanying nurses shuffled out of her room, a smile stretched across their faces despite their exhaustion.

They did it, they saved her. Her and her baby.

Tsunade, chakra depleted, returns to her desk, a look of relief washes over her form as she leaves the red head to sleep, but there is still anxiety, even within recovery, things could always take a turn for the worst. A quick look in on her apprentice, a smile to follow, she travels down the hallway once more, she stops at the door leading to the traitor of this village as well as of Sakura's heart and halfway her hand stops before the doorknob.

She believes she has chance to check in on him later.

Shizune had already left, asleep at home, tear stained cheeks, she can only imagine what waits for her tomorrow, as does the blue eyed blonde that once was so energetic now sits quietly upon his bed, staring at a picture from the good ole days.

Their teacher within the picture now at a bar, a single shot glass sits before him. The life of a shinobi never daunting yet the feel of his ex-student within his arms, the screaming piercing his eyes, is all that he can hear. The alcohol never drowns it out.

At night, while everyone is asleep Sasuke awakens, red spiraling eyes, he struggles to get up and off the bed, wobbly he continues through the hallway, he only stops to turn at the feel that someone is watching him, and sure enough Gaara is there. There is no fight left in the both of them, they can't afford to attack one another. The look in Sasuke's eyes alone stops his opponent from speaking or making a move, all except for a simple nod of the head before he turns around solemnly.

There is an understanding.

Sasuke continues through the hallways until he happens upon the door that leads to the object of his affection. She refused to let the baby leave her side. He steps in, he's starting to bleed again, and no matter what the medics did…they couldn't help him. She opens her eyes, for she senses him even in her weak disposition. Her eyes are so full of pain yet compassion for the sight of the brooding, dark haired man. She holds out a hand and he, stumbling, reaches out for it.

He falls into her and she holds him, the baby to her left, him to her right. The dark black hair with green eyes baby is a spitting image of him, and he smiles weakly, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck and she hums softly, begging him to give into the sleep and rest he so desperately needs.

His hands, slowly, tenderly, graze the skin upon her left arm momentarily, before ghostly touching the baby. Soothingly he places his weak hands on the sleeping baby's cheek and massages the skin; a smile spreads across the infant's face. He whispers, 'My child…' before his hands drop to hold on to the woman under him once more.

"I'm sorry…"

"I know…"

Silence, all but the small breathing of the child to be in the room, the baby's parents not daring to draw a breath.

"…I loved you."

"I…know." A moment passes and, not to his knowledge, a single tear falls down her cheek as she whispers…

"_I…loved you too…"_

It isn't until the morning that they find him there, encased in her strong yet weak hands, she clings to him, afraid to accept the reality of it all. Naruto is in the background crying and Kakashi is just as forlorn upon the sight. Medics in another room still tend to the now awaken Gaara, his grim line of a mouth never uttering a word as he fights back the urge to damn the world and everything in it for how this all ended.

"Sakura…"

They take the baby from her, another body she wishes to hold on to forever. She screams and pulls, until she realizes that a tug of war with an infant is madness and she reluctantly sets _him_ loose. It's a boy. He will grow up to look just like his father she muses as she softly brushes back the man in her arms hair.

Tsunade looks over at Kakashi and with a nod he walks in, Tsunade stepping back.

"We will have him buried here." The tone suggests that he shouldn't be, for all that he's done-but, this is still his home, and he deserves to be buried with his home.

She nods meekly.

"Come on." Her former teacher says gently, reaching out to grab the boy's lifeless form. When he halfway pulls him off her, his eyes widen for a fraction of a second at the sight of the blood spilt upon her form.

She hadn't care to notice, who would? When someone you've loved for all your life, dies, in your arms, nothing else in the world matters.

Before Kakashi pulls Sasuke's limp form off her completely, away from her grasp, and after Gaara slowly, with an aid to help him, makes his way into the room to see her-she, in a last futile attempt pulls him to her and brushes her warm tear filled lips against his cold breathless ones.

Gaara looks away miserably, unable to bear the sight. Kakashi caught in between, can feel his heart, which was once so rigid with the ideals of never showing emotion, tearing in two. Naruto, dear sweet Naruto…

…feels like he would die, die along with his two old teammates.

The kiss breaks, and her hands fall lifelessly upon the bed, the baby cries and a nurse hurriedly runs out of the room with the infant, taking the boy to the nursery within the hospital nearby.

Tsunade walks up to Sakura, and in a motherly instinct, wraps her arms around the small female. Kakashi walks out of the room with Sasuke in his arms, Naruto follows after, his head slumped, his eyes downcast.

She leaves after a small while with the rest of the nursing staff, placing her hand softly upon Gaara's shoulder in a gentle pat before disappearing, she still had a village to run.

Her lifeless eyes cause the red head to stop in his tracks, freezing his movements. The pain radiates off of her so intensely he feels helpless.

She looks up at him, and even though her facial muscles make no movement of sorrow, a stream of tears gently flows down the side of her composed face.

It's that unspoken moment when he finds himself quickly at her side, the soreness in his tendons and how he _needs_ to heal-now, in the far away reaches of his mind, the need to console her, be with her, hold her, kiss her, the only important need right at this moment.

He kisses her upon her forehead gently, both her cheeks, her nose, then her lips. She doesn't respond in kind, just silent sobbing is what he is welcomed with. He doesn't mind. He still holds her.

They lay there awhile, neither speaking nor moving as she clings to him. When a nurse comes, asking if Sakura wishes to see her baby, late in the afternoon, she looks up wordlessly, and just as so, shuffles out of the bed, Gaara holding her for support.

Through the looking glass, she sees her baby, clearly and mentally stable, she sees the baby finally.

Healthy and strong, they told her he wouldn't stop crying but the moment she stepped up to the glass, the baby became as quite as a mouse.

Gaara holds on to her frame firmly, and she takes that one moment to look at him too, clearly now. The passion in his eyes, the fierceness is evident. He wasn't leaving her, not again, never again.

She is grateful.

**X**

_**1 year later.**_

**X**

"Gaara…I'm giving Sanosuke a bath, can you start cooking?" Her yells are drowned out by the rushing water within the bathtub before her and the baby's squeals of fright. Fortunately for her Gaara hears her, unfortunately for him, he knows better than to disobey her will.

Groaning in annoyance he passes by the washroom and gives a quick nod as he sticks his hands within his picket, walking steadily towards the kitchen. Temari, Kankuro and Naruto all are within the living room lounging, laughing and pointing at the 'whipped' Gaara while awaiting the entertainment for tonight.

"After dinner we're going to have our movie night right? Right?" Gaara gives an angry, yet smoldering stare and if it were not directed at Naruto but instead at any girl in the vicinity of the Sand Village they would simply die happily.

"….eh-heh." Disappearing into the kitchen, the guests entertain themselves until dinner is called and upon seating themselves at the Kazekage's table, Sakura emerges with little Sanosuke in hand ready to eat.

"Ne-Ne-Sakura-chan, can I hold the little guy?" Sakura dumps the baby into Naruto's arms instantaneously with a bright smile before dashing off to sit beside Gaara at the head of the table, leaving a blank looking Naruto in her wake.

"Let's eat! I'm starved!" Kankuro pipes up and the rest agree full heartedly. After a fulfilling meal and once the baby was put down to rest, the group headed to the living room.

The movie was a romantic comedy, Naruto, laughing at all the hilarious parts was dumfounded when the man would get yelled at for not admitting his feelings or making a move to please the girl.

"What did he do wrong?" he would always ask and was replied with sighs all around. Temari blushed at these scenes, thinking about a lazy shinobi back in the Village Hidden within the Leaves. She adamantly reminded herself that it would be a cold day in hell when Shikamaru decided to be romantic. Kankuro simply gagged before excusing himself at all the mushy parts, opting to get more food.

Snuggling close to the male's scent that never ceases to escape her senses, Sakura kissed her husband softly as he wrapped his arms about her body. His whispered words of 'I love you' were returned and with her fleeting smile, her gaze returning back to the movie at hand, an uproar of laughter to follow, he watched her silently.

With her in his arms, he always sleeps now.

(Well, except when the baby cries…)

* * *

**Crappy ending, I know, I'm sorry, I told you it was more of an epilogue, and to follow, as I have promised here is my thanks to you all:**

_First off, the five most important people that helped me continue this fic:_ HPBabe91 (My sister :hugs) Sasuke-Sakura-14 (My little imp of a friend and review whore!), Love of Midoriko (One of the most popular GaaSaku fans I know. Hehe has been with me from the beginning!) Artemis85 (another reviewer from the beginning, much love!) and last but not least Kunoichi Sabaku No Gaara (My craze GaaSaku fangirl friend)

To all of you, especially my sister, no amount of words can describe how vital you guys where to me in the creation of this fic, I simply cannot make myself type how great each and everyone one of you are, so simply, I'll say, I love you all.

Okay onward!

Archchic: You have always been a constant reviewer and so sweet, really, I wish to thank you so much for your support, I guess seeing as you hate Sasuke so much it's good that I killed him eh? I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'm sorry I didn't give him a sniveling pathetic death as I am sure you would have been ecstatic to see, I am after all, still a Sasuke Fangirl. Heh…

xXxBlackrosesxXxx: Thank you so much for your reviews, I know I've pissed you off, I write such crack haha I've warned you and everyone else though damnit! But hey, thanks for sticking with it, I hope that you like the ending, and I am sorry it isn't as well thought out and perfect as I had hoped and I am sure, you as well.

AKITO. At the Disco: Hehe, your reviews are so hyper they really get me pumped, thanks so much for that, it always help to motivate my writing will.

Mad-4-Manga: You disappeared on me again, But it was nice for you to show up once more and tell me you liked my writing, missed ya and you were always a great editor for my works hehe.

Rawr4Cookies and FanofInulover: You two are the sweetest ever. I'll tell ya how much I love ya later.

BloodyRedVampire: Haha, well, I hope you are happy with the outcome, thanks for the support and taking the time to review, all you had to do was put a "Great" or "Update" and I would be happy, but you always managed to write just a little bit more, which made my heart soar.

Cherrysango: Yes, Yes, everyone has lost their mind, and probably after reading this, you too. Hehe, thanks for reading.

To Fusion Defiance, Rikky Uzumaki, HunterNinRen, sucuubi in rapture, OneKnux(I hope you liked the final moments with Sasuke and Sakura, it happened thanks to your opinion hehe) crazytreeotaku, and all the one-time reviewers, non reviewers and to all whom just read, thank you for taking the time, and I wish you all well, much love!

**Please Check Out: ****When the Wind Blows**** If you have the time, It's in the works and starts off slow and short, but mainly because it's a prologue, you can expect much more, similar to my writing style in this but I believe I will make things a tad bit more straightforward.**

**Not to mention it's a **_**SasuSaku**_**, so there's no real insanity, 'I'm unloved' mentality going on around like Gaara had to suffer through. Just Jealous, Possessive, power hungry Sasuke, hehehe.**

**Thanks all again! Please review!**


End file.
